when is this nigh mare over

seeing all my stuff today in plastic bags nearly set me off in tears
my favourite bed stuff was disposed due to the glass
all my kitchen food had to be disposed including my sweets from Germany 
(e.g. my gummy bears, hot milk chocolate..)
the cost of the cleaning from the asbestos ($12 000) plus dry cleaning all

the cloth is eating my insurance benefits and it looks like there will not

be enough money left to replace the stuff thrown out
my credit card bounced today cause the insurance did not pay us for the
out 
side expenses such as hotel, I am the only one with income therefore there

isn't much saving in my account
a guy sitting outside my front entrance smoking
our car is still not fixed
my sister in law is upset with my husband because he didn't call her when
my 
brother in law had to go for emergency to Italy (in May) -- go and figure,

can people be more hurtful than that? and I thought she would be different

than anyone else
work sucks they have four clerks in one department and one (me) in
another, 
when I asked for help I always get told or we are buys and yet I am doing 
their job, I also know that the job they are doing can be easily done by 2

clerks (I know cause it used to be my job before I got sick)

okay on the positive site:
hubby seems to be better and we still have each other
I still have a job
my bears all can be cleaned
my house didn't burn down
even so I don't know for how long the hotel will wait until they get paid 
for tonight I have a bed to sleep
the cleaning is supposed to be done by tomorrow and if the asbestos test
on 
Friday comes back negative we finally can go home
my psychotherapist is back next week

and I still want to smoke, more than ever. Neither do I feel like hanging
in 
there anymore. My mind is just giving up and the strength and will power
is 
going. More and more my mind goes back to smoking. but I am a Rocker and I

will prove it. Rocking PolarBears don't smoke.

PolarBear
-- 
"There is a light at the end of every
tunnel ..just pray it's not a train!"
/me walking in a tunnel until she finds the light.