For those of you who are employed (unlike me) have a little extra fun on
the
job next week, all week. This really works for people that have to take
the
elevator at work. Just have fun, and do one or all of these things, one
day
or every day.
Please note: this works only when there are others with you in the
elevator:
1. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, 'Shut up,
damn it, all of you just shut UP!'
2. Whistle the first seven notes of 'It's a Small World' incessantly.
3. Sell Girl Scout cookies.
4. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the
elevator.
5. Shave.
6. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: 'Got
enough air in there?'
7. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours
upside-down.
8. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without
getting off.
9. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open,
then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
10. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask
them to call you Admiral.
11. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open
until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go 'plink' at the
bottom.
12. Do Tai Chi exercises.
13. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce:
'I've got new socks on!'
14. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back, 'Oh, not now,
damn motion sickness!'
15. Meow occasionally.
18. Frown and mutter 'gotta go, gotta go' then sigh and say 'oops!'
19. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
20. Sing 'Mary had a little lamb' while continually pu****ng buttons.
21. Holler 'Chutes away!' whenever the elevator descends.
22. Leave a box between the doors.
23. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them,
then
push the wrong floor button.
24. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers 'through' it.
25. Start a sing-along.
26. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask 'is that your
beeper?'
27. Play the harmonica.
28. Say 'Ding!' at each floor.
29. Lean against the button panel.
30. Say 'I wonder what all these do' and push the red buttons.
31. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
32. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other
passengers that this is your 'personal space.'
33. Bring a chair along.
34. Blow spit bubbles.
35. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.
36. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
37. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
38. Wear 'X-Ray Specs' and leer suggestively at other passengers.
39. Stare at your thumb and say 'I think it's getting larger.'
40. If you're still alive, get the hell off and go to work.
--
AZ
|
