Alexander, my son, has graduated from college. My little boy is a
Construction Engineer. When I went to Iowa for his graduation, I had a
great time. But Alex, is 23, and he had a lot more im****tant things to do
than to spend time with his dad. Things like...girls, parties, friends,
beer...I am not upset about it. I actually expected it. I came back to
Louisiana, sad as hell, and happy as hell at the same time. Alex is no
longer a kid. He is a man with his own life. HE will decide when he wants
to see his dad, or brother, who will be doing the same in two years. I am
not upset about it. I am just in a deep depression!
Rolex is not here to talk to. I miss his nose trying to get under my
chin.
I miss him waiting for me when I got home. He thought I died every
morning
when I left for work, and it was a miracle that I got home from the dead,
and he was so happy to see me. We did that every day. Not anymore.
My girl friend and I split up 2 weeks ago. My dad passed away before I
had
a chance to tell him I was sorry and loved him very much. My best friend
crashed his plane and died. I don't even like my work anymore.
I just cannot take on anymore. My tank is empty. I am running on fumes,
till I run empty. What then?
GAWD, Depression is a killer. I am seeing a "Shrink" and she has put me
on
anti depressant but it takes like 3 days to get into my system.
I am not looking for sympathy, nor am I looking for answers. I just
wanted
to write about how I'm feeling. Maybe this helps, although some kind of
salty liquid is just rolling down my cheeks.
Thanks for reading. If you are still reading, God bless you, I don't why
you did. I did not go to work today, as I would have been useless.
I really am having a very hard time. I am sorry
--
AZ
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