On Oct 19, 8:18 pm, "Melissa J" <mjames1...@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote:
> Hello All, I was wondering how many people have had meaningful
relation****ps
> with a significant other after surgery? I know there are some people
here
> who were already married before surgery and some met people after
surgery.
> I have not had a serious relation****p since my surgery. I guess I keep
> running into people who are too afraid to stick around and see that
having
> an ileostomy is not a horrible thing. Just wondering.
I've had my ileostomy for 31 years since I was 10 years old. That
means I've had it for all of my dating life and to be honest, I've
never really met anyone who has re-acted negatively because of it. I
did have one guy run and hide when I told him about it, but that was
his loss! Most guys are just glad I'm alive and well and able to be
with them.
Nowhere in personal ads have I ever seen 'must be tidy, friendly and
poop via your rectum and anus'. How you poop is simply not a criteria
most people base a relation****p on - and if they do, then I'm betting
you don't want someone that shallow anyway. As long as you present it
all in a positive light and stress to them it doesn't worry you, then
it (hopefully) shouldn't worry them either.
Does it hurt when they reject you cos of your ostomy? Yes, I'm betting
it does. But then it hurts when they reject you cos you're
overweight... or wear gl*****... or have a mole on your nose...
or.... Look at it this way. At least you found out quickly the sort
of person they really are.
What would you do if the situation were reversed? What if you'd never
heard of an ostomy but the guy/girl you really liked told you they had
one? Would that turn you off? I think that if you really liked them
it wouldn't. Yes, it would be new to you and you'd probably ask
questions about it, but it probably wouldn't stop you from wanting to
be with them. Therefore, why should it put off any potential partners
that are genuinely interested in you?
Good luck.
Shaz
http://www.ostomates.org
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