Thanks Frank. Since I've decided to boycott the the summer Olympics
this go-round I knew I could rely on you to keep me informed of the
really, really im****tant stuff.
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Athlete without Compelling Personal Drama Expelled from Olympics
Diver Hid Details of Intact Family
A member of the U.S. Olympic diving team was disqualified from
competition today when it was learned that he did not have a
sufficiently compelling human storyline to exploit on the NBC telecast
of the worldwide s****ting event.
Tracy Klujian, the expelled diver, was not raised by a single mother,
never had a career-threatening injury, and did not overcome a personal
tragedy of any kind before making the Olympic diving team, U.S.
Olympic officials revealed today.
"Had Tracy been involved in an organ donation, as either a donor or a
recipient, that would have been acceptable to us," a diving team
spokesman told re****ters. "However, he was not."
According to sources close to the diving team, Mr. Klujian had
concealed the fact that he comes from an intact middle class family
who never lost their home to a flood, tornado, or typhoon.
But what may have sealed Mr.Klujian's doom, sources said, was his
utter lack of a gravely ill family member to win a medal for.
"Tracy did his best to hide his background from team officials," one
source said. "But when the truth came out, he was finished."
Speaking to re****ters in Beijing, NBC S****ts chief Dick Ebersol was
even less charitable, terming Mr. Klujian's actions "a reprehensible
betrayal."
"We do our best to check out all of the athletes to make sure that
their backgrounds are full of compelling human drama, but we can't
catch everything," Mr. Ebersol said. "This is a case of one really bad
guy exploiting the system."


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