On Jul 25, 11:09 pm, "Bill in Co" <surly_curmudg...@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>
wrote:
> phelbooth wrote:
> > On Jul 23, 9:47 pm, "S.D." <s...@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote:
> >> On Mon, 21 Jul 2008 18:35:52 -0700 (PDT), phelbooth wrote:
> >>> My entire in-laws and steps, excpet for stepson, can neither say "Ya
> >>> did a good job Fill" or "Ya tried the best ya could Fill." For them,
> >>> it's always in terms of what I did wrong. For me, they remain TOXIC.
>
> >> Sounds as if those you speak of are somewhat dysfunctional. Sorry,
> >> coping with that can be frustrating and ungratifying.
>
> > Well, they function well as they can in the world they know.
>
> Perhaps. This may be the essence of it.
>
> > They just kinda need me to validate their world by not being like it.
If
> > I'm
> > unlike it, I'm wrong, which validates their correctness.
>
> :-(
>
> > Example: Stepdaughter. For five years, wouldn't speak to me (except
> > once, when she needed me to help her write an essay to get into a top
> > notch grad school. Silly me was snowed, thinking she was accepting me,
> > helped a lot.) Anway, wouldn't speak to me for five years--everything
> > I did--write letters, send emails, photos, gifts, make cards (I like
> > to scrap) was not good enuf/said wrong.
>
> That's pretty sad.
>
> > So, after five years, I stop.
> > Now, suddenly, she's sending these "joint' emails to me and her dad,
> > and *****ing that I don;t respond. So not saying/doing anything isn't
> > good enuf either. Lose, Lose!!
>
> > I just don't play. Let my husband play the silly stuff. I got my own
> > kids with their own F-ked upedness from all kinds of stuff I did wrong
> > and their dad dying when they were young too.
>
> > We all function the best we can in whatever worlds we can see.
>
> I guess so. I'm not sure about the "best" part, but, whatever.
I stand humbly corrected. Many of us function to the best of our
abilities at the time in whatever worlds we can. Does that work :)
(Clearly, there are times in past worlds where I was not functioning
the best I could, tho sadly, it was the best I was able to at that
time. Shameful to think back on some of those moments)
It's a new day, Bill! How are things with you? (I've rambled about me
a lot lately, sorry. Just a lot of self-reflection going on. And some
underlying sadness that I just can't quite pinpoint. Sometimes I wish
I'd just believe in the simple black/white ways so many others do. For
example, whenever I watch any war movie, I start crying. Because here
I am watching the movie 300 (which I love) and I start balling because
I start thinking about all the people dying in Iraq, Afg., the Sudan,
Darfur, etc etc etc and how I'm just sitting around watching a movie.
dear allah i am Weird.
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