phelbooth wrote:
> On Jul 23, 9:47 pm, "S.D." <s...@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote:
>> On Mon, 21 Jul 2008 18:35:52 -0700 (PDT), phelbooth wrote:
>>> My entire in-laws and steps, excpet for stepson, can neither say "Ya
>>> did a good job Fill" or "Ya tried the best ya could Fill." For them,
>>> it's always in terms of what I did wrong. For me, they remain TOXIC.
>>
>> Sounds as if those you speak of are somewhat dysfunctional. Sorry,
>> coping with that can be frustrating and ungratifying.
>
> Well, they function well as they can in the world they know.
Perhaps. This may be the essence of it.
> They just kinda need me to validate their world by not being like it. If
> I'm
> unlike it, I'm wrong, which validates their correctness.
:-(
> Example: Stepdaughter. For five years, wouldn't speak to me (except
> once, when she needed me to help her write an essay to get into a top
> notch grad school. Silly me was snowed, thinking she was accepting me,
> helped a lot.) Anway, wouldn't speak to me for five years--everything
> I did--write letters, send emails, photos, gifts, make cards (I like
> to scrap) was not good enuf/said wrong.
That's pretty sad.
> So, after five years, I stop.
> Now, suddenly, she's sending these "joint' emails to me and her dad,
> and *****ing that I don;t respond. So not saying/doing anything isn't
> good enuf either. Lose, Lose!!
>
> I just don't play. Let my husband play the silly stuff. I got my own
> kids with their own F-ked upedness from all kinds of stuff I did wrong
> and their dad dying when they were young too.
>
> We all function the best we can in whatever worlds we can see.
I guess so. I'm not sure about the "best" part, but, whatever.
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