On Jul 23, 9:47 pm, "S.D." <s...@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote:
> On Mon, 21 Jul 2008 18:35:52 -0700 (PDT), phelbooth wrote:
> > My entire in-laws and steps, excpet for stepson, can neither say "Ya
> > did a good job Fill" or "Ya tried the best ya could Fill." For them,
> > it's always in terms of what I did wrong. For me, they remain TOXIC.
>
> Sounds as if those you speak of are somewhat dysfunctional. Sorry,
> coping with that can be frustrating and ungratifying.
Well, they function well as they can in the world they know. They just
kinda need me to validate their world by not being like it. If I'm
unlike it, I'm wrong, which validates their correctness.
Example: Stepdaughter. For five years, wouldn't speak to me (except
once, when she needed me to help her write an essay to get into a top
notch grad school. Silly me was snowed, thinking she was accepting me,
helped a lot.) Anway, wouldn't speak to me for five years--everything
I did--write letters, send emails, photos, gifts, make cards (I like
to scrap) was not good enuf/said wrong. So, after five years, I stop.
Now, suddenly, she's sending these "joint' emials to me and her dad,
and *****ing that I don;t respond. So not saying/doing anything isn't
good enuf either. Lose Lose!!
I just don't play. Let my husband play the silly stuff. I got my own
kids with their own F-ked upedness from all kinds of stuff I did wrong
and their dad dying when they were young too.
We all function the best we can in whatever worlds we can see. I
understand their perspective, but I won't join it or sup****t it. Make
sense?
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