Vickie wrote:
> On Jul 3, 12:24 pm, "Stephanie" <nothanks.nevergonedoit.com> wrote:
>> Vickie wrote:
>>> On Jul 3, 9:00 am, "Stephanie" <nothanks.nevergonedoit.com> wrote:
>>>> Vickie wrote:
>>>>> On Jul 1, 5:06 am, "Stephanie" <nothanks.nevergonedoit.com> wrote:
>>>>>> Vickie wrote:
>>>>>>> On Jun 30, 5:30 am, "Stephanie" <nothanks.nevergonedoit.com>
>>>>>>> wrote:
>>>>>>>> Vickie wrote:
>>>>>>>>> On Jun 29, 6:46 pm, "Bill in Co"
>>>>>>>>> <surly_curmudg...@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote:
>>>>>>>>>> Vickie wrote:
>>>>>>>>>>> On Jun 29, 2:24 pm, "Bill in Co"
>>>>>>>>>>> <surly_curmudg...@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote:
>>>>>>>>>>>> Vickie wrote:
>>>>>>>>>>>>> I suppose it is natural to be in a long term relation****p
>>>>>>>>>>>>> and forget the need to tell that special someone that you
>>>>>>>>>>>>> have pride in who they are and what they do.
>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>> Is it just thoughtlessness?
>>>>>>>>>>>>> Do some think it takes away some of their own worth if they
>>>>>>>>>>>>> give out a compliment?
>>
>>>>>>>>>>>> That's pretty sad if that's true.
>>
>>>>>>>>>>> When it takes a ton of prodding to coax a compliment it makes
>>>>>>>>>>> you wonder why it is so hard for some people. You end up
>>>>>>>>>>> giving up, and you either go the way of self-doubt or
>>>>>>>>>>> self-discovery. I hope the friend I talked with last eve goes
>>>>>>>>>>> toward self-discovery.
>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7I5sixwOQlg
>>
>>>>>>>>>>>> Sorry, I'm on dialup. Old school. Plus I wouldn't watch You
>>>>>>>>>>>> Tube crapola anyways!
>>
>>>>>>>>>>> Shut it!
>>
>>>>>>>>>> It's not open. Sorry.
>>>>>>>>>> Next? :-)
>>
>>>>>>>>> Such a stink-o.
>>
>>>>>>>>>>> Lyrics:
>>
>>>>>>>>>>> Your love is better than ice cream
>>>>>>>>>>> Better than anything else that I've tried
>>>>>>>>>>> And your love is better than ice cream
>>>>>>>>>>> Everyone here know how to cry
>>
>>>>>>>>>>> And it's a long way down
>>>>>>>>>>> It's a long way down
>>>>>>>>>>> It's a long way down to the place
>>>>>>>>>>> Where we started from
>>
>>>>>>>>>>> - S McLachlan (changed to correct spelling)
>>
>>>>>>>>>> Sarah means it's gotten a lot better?
>>
>>>>>>>>> No, it means, wouldn't you just ride on cloud nine if someone
>>>>>>>>> said those words to you?
>>
>>>>>>>>> I think people are getting stingier with complements, especially
>>>>>>>>> between couples after the honeymoon is over.
>>
>>>>>>>> The problem I have with the assumption that this is a
>>>>>>>> siutation/problem with "people" instead of you and your husband
>>>>>>>> is that it sets up an expectation in your head that it just IS,
>>>>>>>> and there is nothing you can do about it. If you *choose* not to
>>>>>>>> address issues with your husband, that is you perogative. But I
>>>>>>>> suspect that your tendency to think of these issues as general
>>>>>>>> and common marital issues, I think leads you to a mental state
>>>>>>>> that is not true.
>>
>>>>>>> Maybe it does.
>>>>>>> I realize the *reasons* for the situation/problem can differ as
>>>>>>> night to day, but the experience can be shared and maybe lead one
>>>>>>> to some answers they have not considered and maybe some
>>>>>>> suggestions of where to go from here.
>>
>>>>>>> Vickie
>>
>>>>>> I suppose. It does strike me as odd that you specifically DON'T
>>>>>> attempt to find out what is going on in YOUR situtaion.
>>
>>>>> Like hell I don't.
>>
>>>> Hmmm. Maybe it has been a while or I missed it.
>>
>>> Yes, you were not around when I first started to post.
>>> And sometimes I am more comfortable talking in generals.
>>> In any case, posters here couldn't possibly know everything I do to
>>> find out what is going on in my situation and the resolutions I strive
>>> for.
>>> I would not try to hazard a guess or make an assumption as to whether
>>> you are doing all you can in your own marriage. I am not living there
>>> to see and hear it.
>>> Ok, well maybe sometimes I make a guess...
>>
>>>>>> You seem to focus on
>>>>>> generalities to the exclusion of looking at particulars, at least
>>>>>> on here.
>>
>>>>> I have spent a good ****tion of posting my specifics.
>>
>>>>> At this point in my marriage I feel that some of the doozy issues
>>>>> have come to a close. If you have had an issue like that you would
>>>>> understand that when it ends it kind of sends you reeling.
>>
>>>> I am not sure what yoy mean, did a bad issue end in a good way or
>>>> the other way around?
>>
>>> Bad to good.
>>
>>>> I remember quite well when things were Bad with a capital B. Reeling
>>>> is not my scene. It was a simple decision that I was not going to
>>>> live like that for the next 60 years and that it was going to change
>>>> and that I was willing to risk losing it to change it. But again,
>>>> that is me. The gna****ng of teeth is short and then on to productive
>>>> steps.
?? But you explained what it was you did to get it that way.
>>> Kudos, sincerely.
>>> For me after many consecutive years of fighting and arguing and quiet
>>> acceptance, then round and round again, well, when it ends, I *am*
>>> left floundering.
>>
>> Have you read "Passionate Marriage?" It may be interesting to you.
>
> I have heard it mentioned here before, but give me an idea what it is
> about, if you don't mind.
>
> Vickie
You can probably get a fair idea about it from wikipedia and amazon.com.
I love those sites.
And heck, I'm on dialup, so I gotta work harder to get it. :-)
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