On Jul 3, 12:24=A0pm, "Stephanie" <nothanks.nevergonedoit.com> wrote:
> Vickie wrote:
> > On Jul 3, 9:00 am, "Stephanie" <nothanks.nevergonedoit.com> wrote:
> >> Vickie wrote:
> >>> On Jul 1, 5:06 am, "Stephanie" <nothanks.nevergonedoit.com> wrote:
> >>>> Vickie wrote:
> >>>>> On Jun 30, 5:30 am, "Stephanie" <nothanks.nevergonedoit.com>
> >>>>> wrote:
> >>>>>> Vickie wrote:
> >>>>>>> On Jun 29, 6:46 pm, "Bill in Co"
> >>>>>>> <surly_curmudg...@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote:
> >>>>>>>> Vickie wrote:
> >>>>>>>>> On Jun 29, 2:24 pm, "Bill in Co"
> >>>>>>>>> <surly_curmudg...@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote:
> >>>>>>>>>> Vickie wrote:
> >>>>>>>>>>> I suppose it is natural to be in a long term relation****p
> >>>>>>>>>>> and forget the need to tell that special someone that you
> >>>>>>>>>>> have pride in who they are and what they do.
>
> >>>>>>>>>>> Is it just thoughtlessness?
> >>>>>>>>>>> Do some think it takes away some of their own worth if they
> >>>>>>>>>>> give out a compliment?
>
> >>>>>>>>>> That's pretty sad if that's true.
>
> >>>>>>>>> When it takes a ton of prodding to coax a compliment it makes
> >>>>>>>>> you wonder why it is so hard for some people. You end up
> >>>>>>>>> giving up, and you either go the way of self-doubt or
> >>>>>>>>> self-discovery. I hope the friend I talked with last eve goes
> >>>>>>>>> toward self-discovery.
>
> >>>>>>>>>>>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3D7I5sixwOQlg
>
> >>>>>>>>>> Sorry, I'm on dialup. Old school. Plus I wouldn't watch You
> >>>>>>>>>> Tube crapola anyways!
>
> >>>>>>>>> Shut it!
>
> >>>>>>>> It's not open. Sorry.
> >>>>>>>> Next? :-)
>
> >>>>>>> Such a stink-o.
>
> >>>>>>>>> Lyrics:
>
> >>>>>>>>> Your love is better than ice cream
> >>>>>>>>> Better than anything else that I've tried
> >>>>>>>>> And your love is better than ice cream
> >>>>>>>>> Everyone here know how to cry
>
> >>>>>>>>> And it's a long way down
> >>>>>>>>> It's a long way down
> >>>>>>>>> It's a long way down to the place
> >>>>>>>>> Where we started from
>
> >>>>>>>>> - S McLachlan (changed to correct spelling)
>
> >>>>>>>> Sarah means it's gotten a lot better?
>
> >>>>>>> No, it means, wouldn't you just ride on cloud nine if someone
> >>>>>>> said those words to you?
>
> >>>>>>> I think people are getting stingier with complements, especially
> >>>>>>> between couples after the honeymoon is over.
>
> >>>>>> The problem I have with the assumption that this is a
> >>>>>> siutation/problem with "people" instead of you and your husband
> >>>>>> is that it sets up an expectation in your head that it just IS,
> >>>>>> and there is nothing you can do about it. If you *choose* not to
> >>>>>> address issues with your husband, that is you perogative. But I
> >>>>>> suspect that your tendency to think of these issues as general
> >>>>>> and common marital issues, I think leads you to a mental state
> >>>>>> that is not true.
>
> >>>>> Maybe it does.
> >>>>> I realize the *reasons* for the situation/problem can differ as
> >>>>> night to day, but the experience can be shared and maybe lead one
> >>>>> to some answers they have not considered and maybe some
> >>>>> suggestions of where to go from here.
>
> >>>>> Vickie
>
> >>>> I suppose. It does strike me as odd that you specifically DON'T
> >>>> attempt to find out what is going on in YOUR situtaion.
>
> >>> Like hell I don't.
>
> >> Hmmm. Maybe it has been a while or I missed it.
>
> > Yes, you were not around when I first started to post.
> > And sometimes I am more comfortable talking in generals.
> > In any case, posters here couldn't possibly know everything I do to
> > find out what is going on in my situation and the resolutions I strive
> > for.
> > I would not try to hazard a guess or make an assumption as to whether
> > you are doing all you can in your own marriage. =A0I am not living
ther=
e
> > to see and hear it.
> > Ok, well maybe sometimes I make a guess...
>
> >>>> You seem to focus on
> >>>> generalities to the exclusion of looking at particulars, at least
> >>>> on here.
>
> >>> I have spent a good ****tion of posting my specifics.
>
> >>> At this point in my marriage I feel that some of the doozy issues
> >>> have come to a close. If you have had an issue like that you would
> >>> understand that when it ends it kind of sends you reeling.
>
> >> I am not sure what yoy mean, did a bad issue end in a good way or
> >> the other way around?
>
> > Bad to good.
>
> >> I remember quite well when things were Bad with a capital B. Reeling
> >> is not my scene. It was a simple decision that I was not going to
> >> live like that for the next 60 years and that it was going to change
> >> and that I was willing to risk losing it to change it. But again,
> >> that is me. The gna****ng of teeth is short and then on to productive
> >> steps.
>
> > Kudos, sincerely.
> > For me after many consecutive years of fighting and arguing and quiet
> > acceptance, then round and round again, well, when it ends, I *am*
> > left floundering.
>
> Have you read "Passionate Marriage?" It may be interesting to you.
I have heard it mentioned here before, but give me an idea what it is
about, if you don't mind.
Vickie
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