On Jul 3, 9:00=A0am, "Stephanie" <nothanks.nevergonedoit.com> wrote:
> Vickie wrote:
> > On Jul 1, 5:06 am, "Stephanie" <nothanks.nevergonedoit.com> wrote:
> >> Vickie wrote:
> >>> On Jun 30, 5:30 am, "Stephanie" <nothanks.nevergonedoit.com> wrote:
> >>>> Vickie wrote:
> >>>>> On Jun 29, 6:46 pm, "Bill in Co" <surly_curmudg...@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>
> >>>>> wrote:
> >>>>>> Vickie wrote:
> >>>>>>> On Jun 29, 2:24 pm, "Bill in Co"
> >>>>>>> <surly_curmudg...@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote:
> >>>>>>>> Vickie wrote:
> >>>>>>>>> I suppose it is natural to be in a long term relation****p and
> >>>>>>>>> forget the need to tell that special someone that you have
> >>>>>>>>> pride in who they are and what they do.
>
> >>>>>>>>> Is it just thoughtlessness?
> >>>>>>>>> Do some think it takes away some of their own worth if they
> >>>>>>>>> give out a compliment?
>
> >>>>>>>> That's pretty sad if that's true.
>
> >>>>>>> When it takes a ton of prodding to coax a compliment it makes
> >>>>>>> you wonder why it is so hard for some people. You end up giving
> >>>>>>> up, and you either go the way of self-doubt or self-discovery.
> >>>>>>> I hope the friend I talked with last eve goes toward
> >>>>>>> self-discovery.
>
> >>>>>>>>>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3D7I5sixwOQlg
>
> >>>>>>>> Sorry, I'm on dialup. Old school. Plus I wouldn't watch You
> >>>>>>>> Tube crapola anyways!
>
> >>>>>>> Shut it!
>
> >>>>>> It's not open. Sorry.
> >>>>>> Next? :-)
>
> >>>>> Such a stink-o.
>
> >>>>>>> Lyrics:
>
> >>>>>>> Your love is better than ice cream
> >>>>>>> Better than anything else that I've tried
> >>>>>>> And your love is better than ice cream
> >>>>>>> Everyone here know how to cry
>
> >>>>>>> And it's a long way down
> >>>>>>> It's a long way down
> >>>>>>> It's a long way down to the place
> >>>>>>> Where we started from
>
> >>>>>>> - S McLachlan (changed to correct spelling)
>
> >>>>>> Sarah means it's gotten a lot better?
>
> >>>>> No, it means, wouldn't you just ride on cloud nine if someone said
> >>>>> those words to you?
>
> >>>>> I think people are getting stingier with complements, especially
> >>>>> between couples after the honeymoon is over.
>
> >>>> The problem I have with the assumption that this is a
> >>>> siutation/problem with "people" instead of you and your husband is
> >>>> that it sets up an expectation in your head that it just IS, and
> >>>> there is nothing you can do about it. If you *choose* not to
> >>>> address issues with your husband, that is you perogative. But I
> >>>> suspect that your tendency to think of these issues as general and
> >>>> common marital issues, I think leads you to a mental state that is
> >>>> not true.
>
> >>> Maybe it does.
> >>> I realize the *reasons* for the situation/problem can differ as
> >>> night to day, but the experience can be shared and maybe lead one
> >>> to some answers they have not considered and maybe some suggestions
> >>> of where to go from here.
>
> >>> Vickie
>
> >> I suppose. It does strike me as odd that you specifically DON'T
> >> attempt to find out what is going on in YOUR situtaion.
>
> > Like hell I don't.
>
> Hmmm. Maybe it has been a while or I missed it.
Yes, you were not around when I first started to post.
And sometimes I am more comfortable talking in generals.
In any case, posters here couldn't possibly know everything I do to
find out what is going on in my situation and the resolutions I strive
for.
I would not try to hazard a guess or make an assumption as to whether
you are doing all you can in your own marriage. I am not living there
to see and hear it.
Ok, well maybe sometimes I make a guess...
>
> >> You seem to focus on
> >> generalities to the exclusion of looking at particulars, at least on
> >> here.
>
> > I have spent a good ****tion of posting my specifics.
>
> > At this point in my marriage I feel that some of the doozy issues have
> > come to a close. =A0If you have had an issue like that you would
> > understand that when it ends it kind of sends you reeling.
>
> I am not sure what yoy mean, did a bad issue end in a good way or the
oth=
er
> way around?
Bad to good.
>
> I remember quite well when things were Bad with a capital B. Reeling is
n=
ot
> my scene. It was a simple decision that I was not going to live like
that
> for the next 60 years and that it was going to change and that I was
will=
ing
> to risk losing it to change it. But again, that is me. The gna****ng of
te=
eth
> is short and then on to productive steps.
Kudos, sincerely.
For me after many consecutive years of fighting and arguing and quiet
acceptance, then round and round again, well, when it ends, I *am*
left floundering.
>
> > I am left with built up feelings and my husband has some as well.
=A0So
> > now it is the little things that, try as I might, I want to not make
> > bigger than they are, tamp down on the resentment, not bring in the
> > past, and figure what needs to be addressed or let go.
> I think tamping resentment is a bad idea, personally. When do you get to
=
be
> you, without excuse or fear of rejection?- Hide quoted text -
Not sure really. It is a sad, pathetic place to be in. I want those
feelings to just go away, but they won't. I am hoping with time they
will diminsh.
In regards to this post, I was thinking how maybe my DH telling me he
is proud of me may help to quicken the fade of those bad feelings. I
thought I would post to the others who are in similar situations and
see if they felt it would make a big difference in their own lives if
they heard something like that on occassion.
Vickie
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