Vickie wrote:
> On Jul 1, 5:06 am, "Stephanie" <nothanks.nevergonedoit.com> wrote:
>> Vickie wrote:
>>> On Jun 30, 5:30 am, "Stephanie" <nothanks.nevergonedoit.com> wrote:
>>>> Vickie wrote:
>>>>> On Jun 29, 6:46 pm, "Bill in Co" <surly_curmudg...@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>
>>>>> wrote:
>>>>>> Vickie wrote:
>>>>>>> On Jun 29, 2:24 pm, "Bill in Co"
>>>>>>> <surly_curmudg...@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote:
>>>>>>>> Vickie wrote:
>>>>>>>>> I suppose it is natural to be in a long term relation****p and
>>>>>>>>> forget the need to tell that special someone that you have
>>>>>>>>> pride in who they are and what they do.
>>
>>>>>>>>> Is it just thoughtlessness?
>>>>>>>>> Do some think it takes away some of their own worth if they
>>>>>>>>> give out a compliment?
>>
>>>>>>>> That's pretty sad if that's true.
>>
>>>>>>> When it takes a ton of prodding to coax a compliment it makes
>>>>>>> you wonder why it is so hard for some people. You end up giving
>>>>>>> up, and you either go the way of self-doubt or self-discovery.
>>>>>>> I hope the friend I talked with last eve goes toward
>>>>>>> self-discovery.
>>
>>>>>>>>> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7I5sixwOQlg
>>
>>>>>>>> Sorry, I'm on dialup. Old school. Plus I wouldn't watch You
>>>>>>>> Tube crapola anyways!
>>
>>>>>>> Shut it!
>>
>>>>>> It's not open. Sorry.
>>>>>> Next? :-)
>>
>>>>> Such a stink-o.
>>
>>>>>>> Lyrics:
>>
>>>>>>> Your love is better than ice cream
>>>>>>> Better than anything else that I've tried
>>>>>>> And your love is better than ice cream
>>>>>>> Everyone here know how to cry
>>
>>>>>>> And it's a long way down
>>>>>>> It's a long way down
>>>>>>> It's a long way down to the place
>>>>>>> Where we started from
>>
>>>>>>> - S McLachlan (changed to correct spelling)
>>
>>>>>> Sarah means it's gotten a lot better?
>>
>>>>> No, it means, wouldn't you just ride on cloud nine if someone said
>>>>> those words to you?
>>
>>>>> I think people are getting stingier with complements, especially
>>>>> between couples after the honeymoon is over.
>>
>>>> The problem I have with the assumption that this is a
>>>> siutation/problem with "people" instead of you and your husband is
>>>> that it sets up an expectation in your head that it just IS, and
>>>> there is nothing you can do about it. If you *choose* not to
>>>> address issues with your husband, that is you perogative. But I
>>>> suspect that your tendency to think of these issues as general and
>>>> common marital issues, I think leads you to a mental state that is
>>>> not true.
>>
>>> Maybe it does.
>>> I realize the *reasons* for the situation/problem can differ as
>>> night to day, but the experience can be shared and maybe lead one
>>> to some answers they have not considered and maybe some suggestions
>>> of where to go from here.
>>
>>> Vickie
>>
>> I suppose. It does strike me as odd that you specifically DON'T
>> attempt to find out what is going on in YOUR situtaion.
>
> Like hell I don't.
>
Hmmm. Maybe it has been a while or I missed it.
>> You seem to focus on
>> generalities to the exclusion of looking at particulars, at least on
>> here.
>
> I have spent a good ****tion of posting my specifics.
>
> At this point in my marriage I feel that some of the doozy issues have
> come to a close. If you have had an issue like that you would
> understand that when it ends it kind of sends you reeling.
I am not sure what yoy mean, did a bad issue end in a good way or the
other
way around?
I remember quite well when things were Bad with a capital B. Reeling is
not
my scene. It was a simple decision that I was not going to live like that
for the next 60 years and that it was going to change and that I was
willing
to risk losing it to change it. But again, that is me. The gna****ng of
teeth
is short and then on to productive steps.
> I am left with built up feelings and my husband has some as well. So
> now it is the little things that, try as I might, I want to not make
> bigger than they are, tamp down on the resentment, not bring in the
> past, and figure what needs to be addressed or let go.
>
> Vickie
I think tamping resentment is a bad idea, personally. When do you get to
be
you, without excuse or fear of rejection?
|
