AllYou! wrote:
> In
> news:1034a5b6-3857-49b0-abb1-14b13118ed95@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> Erin <im906768@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> mused:
>> AllYou! wrote:
>>> In
>>>
news:e10dd87a-254a-4808-bf9c-5e88a6ce2285@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>>> Erin <im906768@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> mused:
>>>> AllYou! wrote:
>>>>> In
>>>>>
news:f5177187-bc89-479f-a05d-8265c8f74c4f@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>>>>> Erin <im906768@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> mused:
>>>>>> If a husband treats his mistress with civility,
>>>>>> respect and affection, finding no fault even with
>>>>>> obvious faults she has to others, while treating his wife
>>>>>> with impatience, irritability, rudeness and contempt,
>>>>>> ignoring her good character, hard work, and kindness,
>>>>>> what does it mean?
>>>>>
>>>>> Well, it could be as the wife says it is, and that the DH is
>>>>> mentally ill from all of that head banging, or from some other
>>>>> source.
>>>>>
>>>>> Or, if not that, it could mean that there's is something
>>>>> physically or psychologically wrong with the wife who chooses
>>>>> to remain as the wife, thereby accepting being treated that
>>>>> way.
>>>>>
>>>>>> My ************ says it means
>>>>>> that he has idealized the mistress, and that he has moved on
>>>>>> from his past love for his wife. Do counsellors think that
>>>>>> this can be reversed? Does anyone-- are there
>>>>>> statistics?
>>>>>
>>>>> My personal belief is that nothing is impossible, and
>>>>> therefore, it is possible that the DH will someday abandon his
>>>>> mistress, and fall back in love with his wife. I also think
>>>>> that it's possible that I could win $1 billion dollars in
>>>>> Vegas this spring, but I'm not going to plan my life around
>>>>> it.
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>> I tend to think that's true. And yet, some people
>>>>>> think the marriage should continue, while others
>>>>>> think it's over.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> It seems that everyone has their own interest at
>>>>>> heart in this.
>>>>>
>>>>> :-) No one, except you, has any vested interest in this.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> That's not true-- my DH does, my family, he does-- whatever
>>>> "vested" means
>>>
>>> Actually, no they do not. YOU are the only one with a vested
>>> interest in what you do. Maybe a case could be made that your
>>> kids would as well, but you do not have any kids. Certainly,
>>> thos epeople will be affected by your decision, but it is your
>>> life, and so it is not for any of them, not even your DH, to
>>> pressure you to do other than what you want to do.
>>>
>>>
>>>> -- never could understand; could it be that
>>>> the closer you are to someone the freer you are to show your
>>>> bad side?
>>>
>>> Not excatly. It's that for many people, the more secure they
>>> are in feeling that another person will stay with them no
>>> matter what they do, the more free they are to show that person
>>> their bad side. That's what you've been told here now very many
>>> times.
>>
>> I have thought of that AY. He never asks me for example, how
>> I feel about him, etc. And I am pretty sure it's because he is
>> so secure with me and the thought of me falling in love with
>> someone else or abandoning him, doesn't even cross him mind.
>> It is beyond possibility after the amount of care i have
>> invested. But consider.... what if he were insecure? What if he
>> did wonder at this point in time (and that's im****tant if we
>> assume that he is presently in an altered state) whether i would
>> leave him?
>> It's an interesting question because unlike before the
>> hypothetical relation with OW, this time it may actually be a
>> release from the bondage that prevents him from joining his new
>> favourite.
>>
>> Alas, he does not say that; rather that he does love me. So,]
>> I have to accept things at face value as my counsellor does,
>> until and if he actually presents me with incontrovertible
>> evidence to the contrary.
>
> That's rediculous. His couselor has
Could you PLEASE use a dictionary, AY? And get past the third grade on
this?
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