In
news:e10dd87a-254a-4808-bf9c-5e88a6ce2285@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
<im906768@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> mused:
> AllYou! wrote:
>> In
>> news:f5177187-bc89-479f-a05d-8265c8f74c4f@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>> Erin <im906768@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> mused:
>>> If a husband treats his mistress with civility,
>>> respect and affection, finding no fault even with
>>> obvious faults she has to others, while treating his wife
>>> with impatience, irritability, rudeness and contempt,
>>> ignoring her good character, hard work, and kindness,
>>> what does it mean?
>>
>> Well, it could be as the wife says it is, and that the DH is
>> mentally ill from all of that head banging, or from some other
>> source.
>>
>> Or, if not that, it could mean that there's is something
>> physically or psychologically wrong with the wife who chooses
>> to remain as the wife, thereby accepting being treated that way.
>>
>>> My ************ says it means
>>> that he has idealized the mistress, and that he has moved on
>>> from his past love for his wife. Do counsellors think that
>>> this can be reversed? Does anyone-- are there
>>> statistics?
>>
>> My personal belief is that nothing is impossible, and
>> therefore, it is possible that the DH will someday abandon his
>> mistress, and fall back in love with his wife. I also think
>> that it's possible that I could win $1 billion dollars in Vegas
>> this spring, but I'm not going to plan my life around it.
>>
>>
>>> I tend to think that's true. And yet, some people
>>> think the marriage should continue, while others
>>> think it's over.
>>>
>>> It seems that everyone has their own interest at
>>> heart in this.
>>
>> :-) No one, except you, has any vested interest in this.
>
>
> That's not true-- my DH does, my family, he does-- whatever
> "vested" means
Actually, no they do not. YOU are the only one with a vested
interest in what you do. Maybe a case could be made that your kids
would as well, but you do not have any kids. Certainly, thos
epeople will be affected by your decision, but it is your life, and
so it is not for any of them, not even your DH, to pressure you to
do other than what you want to do.
> -- never could understand; could it be that
> the closer you are to someone the freer you are to show your
> bad side?
Not excatly. It's that for many people, the more secure they are in
feeling that another person will stay with them no matter what they
do, the more free they are to show that person their bad side.
That's what you've been told here now very many times.
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