Divorce And Remarriage:
What Does the Bible Teach about Who May Divorce and Remarry?
A Bible study of divorce and remarriage. Is fornication (adultery) the
only Scriptural grounds for divorce, or does the gospel allow marriage
to be dissolved for other grounds?
Divorce and remarriage have become common as civil law allows no-fault
divorce. A husband or wife may dissolve a marriage for almost any
grounds and remarry, regardless of the will of their spouse. The
result is that many people marry without considering the teaching of
the Bible. Is fornication (or adultery) the only Scriptural grounds
for divorce, or does the gospel allow marriage to be dissolved for
other grounds? Please consider this careful study of the Biblical
teaching.
Introduction:
Many forces in society defend the practice of easy divorce.
Divorce laws in America are so lax that almost anyone can dissolve a
marriage and remarry at any time for any reason. With "no-fault"
divorce, a husband or wife can claim "incompatibility" or
"irreconcilable differences" and get a divorce no matter how much
their spouse objects.
What is right or wrong is determined by the Creator of the Universe.
Men will be judged according to whether or not we have conformed our
lives to His will (John 12:48). Man's will often differs from God's
(Prov. 14:12; Isa. 55:8,9; 2 Cor. 10:12,18; Lk. 16:15,18). Since the
Bible reveals God's will, we must learn what it says about divorce and
remarriage (2 Tim. 3:16,17; 1 Cor. 14:37; Eph. 3:3-5; 2 Pet. 1:21).
Part I: Does the Bible Say Divorce and Remarriage Is Moral or Immoral?
A. The General Teaching of the New Testament Is that Divorce is
Contrary to God's Will, and that Remarriage Following Divorce
Constitutes Adultery.
Note that there is one exception to this general rule, which we will
discuss later. At this point we are discussing the general rule. The
following passages present this teaching:
Matthew 19:3-9 (cf. Mark 10:2-12; Luke 16:18)
Jesus was asked whether divorce can properly be obtained for just any
reason a person might have. He answered by appealing to the original
marriage law.
Jesus taught that divorce itself, in general, is contrary to God's
will. God made one man for one woman, indicating He did not intend for
either to marry anyone else. He said they should cleave to one another
and the two become one - there is no room in God's plan for a third
party. God joins the man and woman, no human has the right to break
that bond.
Further, whoever divorces his wife and marries again commits adultery
(unless he does it because she has been guilty of fornication), and
whoever marries her who has been divorced also commits adultery. (Mk.
10 adds that this rule also applies to the woman if she divorces her
husband.)
To help understand the passage, read it with your name and your
spouse's name, instead of "whosoever," etc.
Matthew 19:9 - If ____________ (you) divorces __________ (his wife),
except for fornication, and marries another, _________________ (you)
commits adultery; and whoever marries ___________ (her who is
divorced) commits adultery."
Matthew 5:31,32
One who puts away his wife (for some cause other than fornication)
causes her to commit adultery. This assumes that she remarries as
described in the last part of the verse and as implied in the previous
verse (the purpose of the "bill of divorcement" according to the law
was so she could become another man's wife - Deut. 24:1ff).
By divorcing his wife, the husband puts her in the position where she
is strongly tempted to remarry and if she does remarry, Jesus says she
is guilty of adultery and so is the man she marries (in contrast to
the Mosaic Law which tolerated the remarriage). Hence, the divorce
itself is wrong and should be avoided. [Cf. Matt. 18:6,7]
Romans 7:2,3
A married woman is bound by law to her husband as long as he lives.
This means that if she is married to another man while her first
husband is alive, she is guilty of adultery. She is free to remarry
without guilt only if her husband is dead.
(Some ask what "law" is this that joins the man and woman - God's law
or man's law? It is the law which, when violated, makes the woman an
adulteress. Clearly this must be God's law, and this conforms to what
is taught elsewhere.)
1 Corinthians 7:10,11
A married woman should not depart from her husband nor he from her.
Again, divorce itself is not the will of God.
But if she departs (if divorce has occurred), she must remain
unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. Clearly remarriage is
not a scriptural alternative.
(Note: "depart" here is the same word elsewhere translated "put
asunder" - Matt. 19:6; Mk. 10:9: The result of the action is that the
woman is "unmarried.")
The teaching of the gospel on this point is unpopular with most
people. Many people don't want to hear it preached. Jesus' own
disciples considered it very strict (Matt. 19:10-12), still Jesus did
not compromise it or apologize for it. He continued to teach and
defend it and so must we.
B. To Apply These Passages Properly, We Must Understand Why the Second
Marriage Is Forbidden and Why It Is Called "Adultery."
God clearly has the right to forbid any act if He so chooses, but it
helps us apply the teaching when we understand His reasons for
forbidding an act. What reason does God give for declaring the second
marriage sinful, and why does He call it "adultery"?
Malachi 2:14-16
God hates putting away (v16). Again, divorce is contrary to God's
will. Why? Because marriage is a covenant between a man and his wife
(v14). God is a witness to that covenant, and He holds men to it
(v14). If a man violates the covenant, he is dealing treacherously
with his wife and God will hold him accountable. [Prov. 2:17; Ezek.
16:8]
Though this is an Old Testament passage, it helps us learn the
definition of marriage, which has not changed. Marriage is, by God's
definition, a solemn mutual agreement between a man and woman to live
together as husband and wife. God holds them to that covenant bond and
will not free them from it, even if people declare them to be free.
Remember this! The whole foundation of New Testament teaching
regarding divorce rests on God's attitude toward marriage. When people
weaken the barriers against divorce, they are weakening respect for
marriage. Divorce matters because it destroys a marriage, and marriage
is very im****tant to God. Any view of divorce, which fails to respect
marriage as God respects it, must be an unscriptural view.
This is why Jesus, in answering a question about divorce and
remarriage, appealed to God's original intent regarding marriage
(Matt. 19:3-9). God will respect and enforce His law regarding it,
even when men disregard it!
Hebrews 13:4
The marriage covenant includes the right and obligation to have the
***ual union only with the companion with whom we have a Scriptural
marriage covenant. To have relations with anyone else is "fornication"
or "adultery."
This too is part of the marriage covenant as God defines it. Marriage
gives a man and his wife the right to the ***ual union, but only with
their lawful spouse.
[Ezek. 23; Jer. 3; Prov. 5:15-20; 6:29,32; 7:18-20; Ezek. 16:32; 1
Cor. 7:1-9].
Romans 7:2,3
In this marriage covenant, the woman is bound to her husband as long
as he lives (cf. 1 Cor. 7:39). The marriage "bond" is a lifetime
covenant commitment, and God holds people to the commitment they made,
even if later they try to break it.
Note that the passage says a woman may be "bound" to one man, but
"married" to another man! The "bond" refers to the marriage covenant
that God holds you to. "Marriage" refers to the relation****p you are
living in as recognized by civil law and society. The two may be the
same, but not necessarily. In this case, the woman was "bound" to one
man but "married" to a completely different man!
That is why a woman is guilty of adultery if she is married to another
man. Adultery, by definition, refers to ***ual intercourse between two
people, one of whom is bound by a marriage covenant to somebody else
[see definitions in notes on Matt. 19:9].
This woman is an "adulteress" because she has been joined in a
marriage covenant with one man, and God holds her to that covenant for
life. But she is having ***ual relations with another man, and that,
by definition, is adultery. This passage defines adultery for us!
Note that anytime she has ***ual relations with a man other than her
scriptural mate it is adultery - as long as her first companion is
living, the passage says. Whether she has just a single act of
intercourse, or has an "affair" involving a number of adulterous acts
over a period of time, or whether it is a second marriage to another
man - in any case every time she has ***ual union with another man the
passage says she is guilty of adultery.
This is "adultery" because the woman is Scripturally committed to have
the ***ual union only with one man as long as he lives, but instead
she is having it with another man. This is why it is proper to refer
to the second marriage as "adulterous" or "living in adultery," just
as it would be if she were living with him but not married to him
(Col. 3:5-7).
Matthew 19:3-9
What reason is given why remarriage is forbidden and why it is called
"adultery"? Because God declared man and woman should cleave to one
another. He joins them (by witnessing their marriage covenant and
holding them to it). He forbids their changing their mind and says no
man can put their marriage asunder.
So, if man puts away his wife and marries another, the second marriage
is "adultery" because he is having the ***ual union with a second wife
while God still holds him obligated to his covenant to have the ***ual
union only with his first wife.
Note again: the terms "marry" and "divorce" (or "put away," and also
"husband" and "wife") as used here and elsewhere, refer to the
relation****p as viewed by society and the law of the land. In a first
marriage, both God and society recognize the marriage commitment to
exist between the man and woman. They are both "married" in the eyes
of society and "joined" ("bound") in the eyes of God.
Society and civil law may then grant them a "divorce" (not for
fornication) and they may "marry" again. Society and civil law then
views them as free from their first marriage and entered into a second
one, and the Bible calls this "divorced" ("put away") and "married"
again. But though God uses these terms as society does, He does not
recognize the divorce as making a valid end to the covenant commitment
that He recognized in the first marriage. God still considers them
"bound" or "joined" or held accountable for the commitment of the
first marriage (v6).
There is a definite distinction between the covenant commitment (bond)
which God recognizes and the divorce and marriage which civil law
recognizes. (cf. Mk. 6:17,18)
Again, the second marriage is "adultery" because the person is still
joined in God's eyes to his/her first spouse, but they are having a
***ual relation****p with a second spouse. That is adultery, and it
will continue to be adultery every time they have the ***ual
relation****p, because God has still "joined" them to their first
spouse and He will not "put asunder" that bond.
1 Corinthians 7:10,11
This explains why, if a woman divorces her husband, she still has no
right to remarry. She may get divorced in the eyes of civil law, and
God calls it "divorce" and says she is now "unmarried." But that does
not free her from her bond or covenant obligation to her first
husband. Since she is still bound to her first marriage covenant, her
only choice then is to be reconciled to her husband (the one God
recognizes) or else remain unmarried.
***ual relation****p outside of a Scriptural marriage bond constitutes
fornication (v2-5). Hence, if the woman divorces and remarries, that
second marriage, as long as it lasted and as long as her first husband
was still alive, would constitute adultery.
Understanding these principles will be vital to reaching proper
applications and answers to other questions we will deal with.
[Note that adultery involves a ***ual act - John 8:4; Heb. 13:4; Prov.
6:20-35. It is not just the act of divorcing and remarrying that is
adultery.]
C. God Allows an Exception to the General Rule When One's Spouse Has
Been Guilty of Fornication.
This exception is clearly stated in Matthew 19:9 (and 5:32).
"Whosoever shall put away his wife, except for fornication, and shall
marry another, committeth adultery" ("saving for the cause of
fornication" - Matt. 5:32).
The question originally asked Jesus concerned the grounds or cause for
which a man may divorce his wife (v3). In v9 Jesus clearly says there
is no acceptable cause except if ones companion has been guilty of
fornication.
Unlike the Mosaic Law, which Jesus admits tolerated divorce and
remarriage for other causes, Jesus' teaching allows one and only one
cause.
Note that the only one who is granted the right to divorce and remarry
without being guilty of sin is the one who has been sinned against by
his/her companion who committed fornication.
What is fornication?
Definitions: "illicit ***ual intercourse in general" (Thayer); "every
kind of unlawful ***ual intercourse" (Arndt and Gingrich). Fornication
includes any form of ***ual intercourse with anyone other than ones
scriptural spouse, regardless of whether that person be of the
opposite *** or of the same ***. Note passages that explain the
meaning:
1 Corinthians 7:2-5 - To avoid fornication, one is to satisfy the
***ual desire with and only with "his own wife" or "her own husband."
Our own marriage companion is the only one who has power over our
body. If we satisfy this desire with anyone else, the passage says it
would be fornication, whether it be with someone we are not married
to, someone else's husband or wife, or someone else of the same ***
(i.e., homo***uality). (See also Heb. 13:4).
Jude 7 - Sodom and Gomorrah gave themselves over to fornication. But
Gen. 19 shows this refers to homo***uality (men wanted to lie with
men, not with women) ["and going after strange flesh" has the
significance of even going after...]. Therefore, homo***uality is a
form of fornication, and would be scriptural grounds for one's
companion to obtain a divorce and remarry.
Some say fornication would not include adultery (i.e., the case in
which one who is married has relations with someone not their spouse).
But the following passages use "fornication" to include extra-marital
***: 1 Cor. 5:1; Amos 7:17; Ezek. 16:8,15,26,29; Jer. 3:6,8. Jesus
used "fornication" in order to include, not just extra-marital ***,
but also premarital *** and homo***uality - any form of illicit ***ual
intercourse.
When a man and woman marry, they make a covenant to have the ***ual
relation****p only with one another and with no one else (of the same
or opposite ***) as long as they both shall live. If one companion
violates that covenant by having ***ual relations with any person
other than their own spouse, he/she has violated the marriage covenant
in such a way that God grants their partner the right to divorce them
and remarry.
The New Testament teaching regarding divorce and remarriage can be
summarized like this: When a man and woman marry, they enter into a
lifetime covenant in which God binds or joins them, holding them
accountable to keep this covenant. If there is a divorce for some
cause other than fornication, God's will is violated; and if either or
both remarry, the second marriage relation****p(s) is (are) adultery
because God still holds the people bound to the first marriage
commitment. If during the first marriage, however, one companion
commits fornication, then the other companion may choose to obtain a
divorce and remarry ey both shall live. If one companion violates that
covenant by having ***ual relations with any person other than their
own spouse, he/she has violated the marriage covenant in such a way
that God grants their partner the right to divorce them and remarry.
The New Testament teaching regarding divorce and remarriage can be
summarized like this: When a man and woman marry, they enter into a
lifetime covenant in which God binds or joins them, holding them
accountable to keep this covenant. If there is a divorce for some
cause other than fornication, God's will is violated; and if either or
both remarry, the second marriage relation****p(s) is (are) adultery
because God still holds the people bound to the first marriage
commitment. If during the first marriage, however, one companion
commits fornication, then the other companion may choose to obtain a
divorce and remarry without sin.
|
