Re: A woman who dated a married man

"krzgirl" <krzgirl@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message 
news:26330683-6f7f-4717-88ab-3774b19cb948@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> I'm really sorry you have to deal with MRSA. truly I am - no one should 
> have
> to deal with that. That's a chance we all take.
> The herpes and chlamydia, not so much.

>>If you are having ***, you are taking that chance also.

Considering that I've been with the same person for 25 years , have been 
married for 20.5 of those years, and live a lifestyle that is not
conducive 
to secrecy, that possibility is vani****ngly small!



> Anyway, I think your unrepentant stance has gone over like a lead
balloon 
> ,
> er zeppelin, here, because this is a *marriage* sup****t newsgroup.

>>Unrepentant, hon, you are just plain wrong. I know I was wrong and I
>>was responsible and I have stopped the affair, prayed, made ammends
>>and still work in outreach trying to help others NOT make the bad
>>decisions I did, so, I would not agree that I am "unrepetant." I have
>>stated several times in this thread I am here to explain my actions
>>NOT JUSTIFY them. They are unjustifyable.

Part of repentance is the promise to not repeat the behavior - "go forth
and 
sin no more".

> You, as a survivor of abuse, should know better than to blame the victim
> (your lovers wife in this case) for the behavior of others. Saying "If
> married women would be good wives, good partners, good lovers, then
their
> husbands wouldn't come looking for someone. It is NOT solely the fault
> of the other person, the wives are the ones that leave them unfulfilled 
> and
> vulnerable" takes the responsibility away from your lover, when in
reality
> he's the one who chose to act as he did, and you chose to go along with 
> it.
> That's like an abusive husband or parent saying "She MADE me hit her! It

> was
> all her fault!"

>>It is everyone involved's' fault. But I won't venture to lay %'s of
>>guilt. We all have some.

That I agree with.

> You're not the one that's married, but marriage counselors dealing with
> people who are truly trying to save their marriages say that the
marriage
> partners can't have "one foot out the door" if they want it to work. Cut

> off
> all contact with this guy. If he shows up later, fine, deal with it
then, 
> at
> least you'll know that while you may have been an influence in ending
his
> marriage, you weren't the ultimate cause. Does that sound reasonable?

>>Reasonable, yes, but my intended approach, no. I discussed my
>>intentions in an earlier post.