Re: A woman who dated a married man

I certainly understand why you would think this. But I know a lot more
than you think I know. I know that many men who have affairs want to
have their cake and eat it too, but I also know my guy is different
(and I know all affairees say that too), that is why we called off the
affair. I have talked with him extensively, and I do have ways of
knowing more than most about what is going on in his home. I am not
under a spell, I have had lots of counseling regarding this matter,
and even my counselor believes this to be atypical, but not
necessarily very hopeful in the short run, but very hopeful in the
long run. My eyes are WIDE OPEN. I know the stats in this case are
terrible for me-but I know the differences, too). My life isn't on
hold, but I will allow him to walk back in when he is ready. I am
building a better life to eventually share with him. If he doesn't
join me, I still have a better life.

And, yes, with us it is TRUE LOVE! We are both 45 years old, we know
the dif in love and infatuation. He has done several things to
convince me he truly does love me that he wouldn't have done if all he
wanted was an affair partner. I know for certain I am his one and only
affair. Selfish would be trying to hold on to him when I knew he was
miserable with the guilt and deception, unselfish was letting him go.
So, I am not selfish in any way other than I am not willing to give up
all contact with him. But I don't temp him in any way right now, not
unless and until he is divorced, I won't do that. Yes, I am guilty of
still being in contact and being his friend. That is something I just
am not willing to give up. Noway, nohow. It may be wrong to be in
contact with him, but we could still be doing a lot wronger deeds.

Unofrtunately, giving up our Christianity is not possible for either
of us. And that is where tons of appropriate guilt comes in We know it
was wrong, that is why we are now trying to right things.

krz