Re: A woman who dated a married man

On Fri, 28 Dec 2007 13:29:14 -0700, emma_anne@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
 (Emma Anne)
wrote:

><lisahmeyer@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote:
>
>> I unselfishly gave him up, eventhough that was seven
>> months ago and I still love him to this day and he still loves me. We
>> are in contact often
>
>Then it is not over.  You need to be more "unselfish" and discontinue
>all contact.

This guy that she's seeing is so stereotypical that it's not even
funny.  He swore to his lover on speakerphone in front of his wife
that he didn't love her (but assures her when the wife isn't there
that he does).  He swore that he will be with the lover in the
future--but where is he now?  With the wife.  He tells the lover that
his wife is "too lazy to work"; he's probably telling the wife how
much he appreciates that she has sacrificed her career to raise their
children.

People like this love to have their cake and eat it, too.  They will
tell the spouse and the lover whatever they have to in order to keep
each satisfied and on the hook.  And in this case, it's working--both
the wife and the lover believe they are the true love, believe that
they are the woman that he will stay with and be with forever.    What
an ego trip he must be on, to have two women pining after him and
eating out of his hand!

But I gotta say to the OP.....the spouse almost always wins in this
kind of situation, unless the spouse wakes up and kicks the cheater
out to the curb.  In which case he's got his lover as a fallback.  So
if you don't mind being second-fiddle and in the fallback position,
keep on your current course.  But don't fool yourself that he loves
you, because he's just tell you (and his wife) what you both want to
hear.  The person he loves best is himself.
-- 
Lauri in WA