Re: A woman who dated a married man

lisahme...@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
 wrote:
> On Dec 28, 9:51=EF=BF=BDam, Erin <squig...@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote:
> > krzgirl wrote:
> > > In my situation, he was very lonely, felt neglected, not listened
to,
> > > not treated like a parnter, and unfulfilled ***ually. Yes, I was
> > > vulnerable, too, but he sought me out and we did, indeed fall in
love.=

> > > When he was "caught" he told his wife that I gave him three things
she=

> > > didn't 1) I listened to him, 2) I talked to him, and 3) I made
=EF=BF=
=BDhim
> > > feel desireable.
> >
> > > Not all of us who had an affair are homewreckers. We were overcome
> > > with guilt and I released him, then his wife found out. If married
> > > women would be good wives, good partners, good lovers, then their
> > > husbands wouldn't come looking for someone. It is NOT solely the
fault=

> > > of the other person, the wives are the ones that leave them
> > > unfulfilled and vulnerable.
> >
> > Did you ask him if perhaps he abused his wife? =EF=BF=BDIf perhaps she
w=
as
> > lonely,
> > neglected, unfulfilled? =EF=BF=BDMaybe even her life threatened?
=EF=BF=
=BDOr would all
> > that be irrelevant to your romantic fog? =EF=BF=BDAs they say in the
cou=
rts
> >
> > Hear Both Sides.
> >
> > Good luck to both of you - may you marry and reap what
> > might eventually come to be the same treatment for each
> > other in the future.
> >
> > Erin
>
> I see quite clearly, no fog here.
>
> He and I are no longer seeing each other, but no, he didn't abuse his
> wife, I talked to her once after we ended the affair when I apologized
> to her. Just because he had an affair doesn't mean he is a mean or
> violent person, quite the opposite, her temper is much more volatile
> than his. I have no doubt she was lonely too, nor that they both had a
> role in their marriage becoming vulnerable to an affair, but he had
> asked her twice to enter marriage counseling with him and she declined
> both times til after the affair. It is quite relevant to me that we
> hurt so many people, His wife, Me, Him, thank God his children never
> found out, I would not have wanted to have hurt them. And, in case you
> didn't catch it above, we broke up because of our conciousness and
> guilt. We won't be marrying each other, he is in counseling with her.
> And I would have no problem marrying him and trusting him in the
> future. Of course, I didn't and don't expect you to understand. He is
> not happy, not happy at all, but he is determined to do "the right
> thing" at his own expense.

I understand.  I told you i thought you should marry each other.
But he should divorce his wife first.  That was my argument.
I hope you do make that choice as he is likely to make his life
and his family's life pretty miserable being away from his true love.

Erin