Re: A woman who dated a married man

On Dec 28, 9:51=A0am, Erin <squig...@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote:
> krzgirl wrote:
> > In my situation, he was very lonely, felt neglected, not listened to,
> > not treated like a parnter, and unfulfilled ***ually. Yes, I was
> > vulnerable, too, but he sought me out and we did, indeed fall in love.
> > When he was "caught" he told his wife that I gave him three things she
> > didn't 1) I listened to him, 2) I talked to him, and 3) I made =A0him
> > feel desireable.
>
> > Not all of us who had an affair are homewreckers. We were overcome
> > with guilt and I released him, then his wife found out. If married
> > women would be good wives, good partners, good lovers, then their
> > husbands wouldn't come looking for someone. It is NOT solely the fault
> > of the other person, the wives are the ones that leave them
> > unfulfilled and vulnerable.
>
> Did you ask him if perhaps he abused his wife? =A0If perhaps she was
> lonely,
> neglected, unfulfilled? =A0Maybe even her life threatened? =A0Or would
all=

> that be irrelevant to your romantic fog? =A0As they say in the courts
>
> Hear Both Sides.
>
> Good luck to both of you - may you marry and reap what
> might eventually come to be the same treatment for each
> other in the future.
>
> Erin

I see quite clearly, no fog here.

He and I are no longer seeing each other, but no, he didn't abuse his
wife, I talked to her once after we ended the affair when I apologized
to her. Just because he had an affair doesn't mean he is a mean or
violent person, quite the opposite, her temper is much more volatile
than his. I have no doubt she was lonely too, nor that they both had a
role in their marriage becoming vulnerable to an affair, but he had
asked her twice to enter marriage counseling with him and she declined
both times til after the affair. It is quite relevant to me that we
hurt so many people, His wife, Me, Him, thank God his children never
found out, I would not have wanted to have hurt them. And, in case you
didn't catch it above, we broke up because of our conciousness and
guilt. We won't be marrying each other, he is in counseling with her.
And I would have no problem marrying him and trusting him in the
future. Of course, I didn't and don't expect you to understand. He is
not happy, not happy at all, but he is determined to do "the right
thing" at his own expense.