"Erin" <squiggle@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message
news:81cab026-c1f8-48e8-8dab-8f9e9e8d5b76@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>
>
> AllYou! wrote:
>> "Erin" <squiggle@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message
>>
news:77b0f931-65e7-40e1-a7e1-edf5a2211935@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>> >
>> >
>> >Erin wrote:
>> >> Vickie wrote:
>> >> > On Dec 26, 2:37?pm, Erin <squig...@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote:
>> >> > > Here is my New Year's Wish!
>> >> > >
>> >> > > I wish i wish i wish, and i hope with all my heart
>> >> > >
>> >> > > that I NEVER SEE MY HUSBAND AGAIN,
>> >> > >
>> >> > > whatever it takes.
>> >> > >
>> >> > > Please *********** stay where you are and never
>> >> > > come back. ?That would make me so happy and
>> >> > > we would both be free.
>> >> > >
>> >> > > Erin
>> >> >
>> >> > I am not a p-doc or therapist, but it sounds as though you
>> >> > have
>> >> > moved
>> >> > from the mourning faze into the anger faze.
>> >> > I wish I could tell you if you are moving forward or backward
>> >> > in
>> >> > this. Hopefully forward.
>> >> >
>> >> > Vickie
>> >>
>> >>
>> >> He just left. I wish it were not painful for me. But I do feel
>> >> that if i don't see him, i will recover. I just can't believe
>> >> he's done this to me. It's so unlike him, and he could have
>> >> asked me to go with him-- i am his wife. Don't husbands
>> >> spend the holidays travelling with their wife and their family?
>> >> It's so weird and painful at the same time. At least if his
>> >> dr. had said something to me -- like, he's got cancer, you're
>> >> going to die soon, he has to split from you, but nothing,
>> >> nothing from nobody. And from him, gifts and presents and
>> >> promises and hopes to reunite and that he loves me and
>> >> always will.
>> >>
>> >> So, i have a communication problem coming from THEM,
>> >> not from me. I am willing to accept an unconditional,
>> >> firm statement. They are the ones who are either silent,
>> >> vacillating or more confused than I am. At least,
>> >> I can say, yes i love hiim and I want him to be my
>> >> husband as he was before this med-crackdown or
>> >> head injury he had, ba****ng his brains out on the
>> >> floor over and over again. MRI? No way. But his
>> >> uncle who is a nurse said he should have one.
>> >>
>> >> Erin
>> >
>> >And here is something that the dr. should have
>> >considered worthy of notice: he not only had social
>> >problems, after the med withdrawal and head banging,
>> >he had
>> >
>> >- memory lapses
>> >- sleep cycle disturbances
>> >- coma-like fugues
>> >- irritability
>> >- weight loss
>> >- mania
>> >- confusion
>> >- anxiety
>> >- suicide attempts (hanging)
>> >
>> >
>> >I mean, it wasn't *just* an attraction that
>> >was the change in his character.
>> >
>> >This is why I insisted that he see a psychiatrist.
>> >Instead he went to a therapist for relation****p
>> >conflicts, who did him no good at all, except from
>> >a palliative point of view.
>> >
>> >Erin
>>
>> I have no idea how you became so obsessed with doctors, or your
>> DH's
>> doctors, but it's a bit freaky, IMO.
>>
>> His doctor isn't there to help you. His doctor isn't there to
>> advise
>> you. His doctor isn't there to talk to you about your DH. His
>> doctor
>> isn't perfect either, and may not even be there for your DH for all
>> that you think he should be.
>>
>> What goes on between his doctor and him is for him, and for him
>> alone,
>> and his choice of doctors is for him, and for him alone.
>>
>> Nothing about your DH and his doctor was ever any of your business,
>> and for you to keep hanging on to the notion that things would've
>> gone
>> better for you if only your DH's doctor had done this, or that, or
>> the
>> other thing is silly and ridiculous.
>>
>> In the end, your DH's behavior was up to him, and your behavior is
>> up
>> to you. And in the end, it was YOU who thought it was a good idea
>> to
>> give your DH a year to keep acting as he did. It was YOU who made
>> all
>> the excuses for why you'd keep enabling your DH to engage in an
>> affair
>> with another women. It was YOU who chose to accept lip service in
>> exchange for a terrible life.
>>
>> And not only did YOU decide to behave that way, but you did so
>> despite
>> a whole lot of people telling you how bizarre and dumb that was.
>> But,
>> of course, only you know what is right for you, and so I'm not
>> suggesting that you should've done what other people were telling
>> you
>> what to do. But I am suggesting that there's no way you can claim
>> that it never occurred to you to consider another point of view.
>> There's no way you can say, 'geeeeee, I didn't have any idea there
>> was
>> another way to handle this'.
>>
>> In the end, and despite being given a whole lot of alternatives to
>> consider, it was YOU who chose to deal with this situation as you
>> did.
>> Take responsibility for that, and stop believing that doctors are
>> the
>> answer to your problems, especially when they're not even your
>> doctors.
>
> No AllYou! -- you don't know a lot of things -- when he had the
> head banging incident and noose preparation, we went to the
> doctors at ER. They checked his spine but not his head.
Do you really think that you know more about what doctors should do
then doctors? All I've ever seen from you regarding doctors are
complaints about all the things they didn't do that YOU thought they
should do, and all the diagnoses that they missed that You think they
should've gotten right, and all the treatments and drugs which they
didn't prescribe which YOU think they should've prescribed.
You're right, Erin, I don't know a lot of things. But I know that I
don't know as much as doctors know, and while I don't think they're
infallible, and while I reserve the right to question them, I
certainly know that they know more than I know about things medical.
> His
> uncle who is a nurse said they should have. He had a lot
> cognitive impairment problems. Basically he had a lot of
> medical problems with the his medication throughout our marriage.
> But we were very happy. We were like brother and sister.
> Everyone thought we were a well-matched couple and we never
> fought. It was after the Serzone, the med withdrawal,
> and the head banging incident (concussion?) that he
> had a drastic personality change.
>
> Now, you may say that it is his dr.'s responsibility
> to look at those incidents. Yes. I guess it is.
> But certainly those incidents were the start of
> changes in his social life, his medical situation
> (e.g. memory loss, fugue states, strange sleep
> cycles, confusion, and depression). So, I guess
> i have to live with that, and/or let it go. But had
> I the power, I would recommend that he see a
> neurologist or psychiatrist for concussion.
>
> Anyway, not much i can do -- it's just a shame.
>
> Happy New Year to you
>
> Erin
>
|
