On Aug 23, 4:57=A0am, "Cindy's Mom" <jehedgec...@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote:
> On Aug 22, 3:22=A0pm, Daniel <deltaechom...@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote:
>
>
>
> > I've been out of touch -- by choice, I guess. =A0After losing Dad in
> > September 2005, this time of year rolls around again, and this year I
> > am having flashbacks and memories of those last days of caring for him
> > at home and then at the hospital. =A0
>
> > One of the last days he was at home was the day all those people were
> > in the huge traffic jam heading north away from Katrina. =A0I was at
th=
e
> > house with Dad -- he sat in the family room and looked out the window
> > where he could see me outside pulling crabgrass out of the flower
> > beds. =A0I remember he took my hand and whispered to me -- "Thanks,
> > Daniel, I've been wanting to do that and somehow I just haven't been
> > able to." =A0So Dad. =A0
>
> > I've got Dad stuff in bags and bins and suitcases and file boxes. I've
> > got chairs in the garage that won't fit in my house. =A0I've got one
of
> > his s****t coats and a ****rt and tie -- had planned on making a
> > shadow-box thingie . . . and none of it gets sorted, none of it gets
> > done. =A0"Somehow I just haven't been able to." =A0
>
> > I've got piles of grief in my blood in my brain in my soul and somehow
> > none of it gets sorted, none of it gets done. =A0"Somehow I just
haven'=
t
> > been able to."
>
> > And I think of you all every day, all those who are and have been this
> > group. =A0I haven't been able to bring myself to read even. =A0Sorry.
> > "Somehow I just haven't been able to." =A0
>
> > Somehow. =A0In Dad's case what stopped him from pulling the crabgrass
> > was cancer. [irony: crab ( =3Dcancer ) +grass ] In my case it's the
> > creeping crabgrass / cancer of grief =A0-- of needing . . . *what*???
I=
f
> > I knew I could find it get it do it. =A0I should take time to pay
> > attention to the grief thing, time to take the time to deal with the
> > piles visible and invisible. =A0Time to deal with the remorse. =A0I'd
g=
ive
> > anything to have had more "thank you's" from Dad, to have the touch of
> > his hand one more time.
>
> > Peace to you and all those you love,
> > --
> > Daniel =A0( deltaechom...@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
)
>
> Peace and love to you too Daniel. I know so well what you are feeling
> because currently I am feeling many of the same emotions. We are in
> the process of moving and I have so many of my beloved daughter's
> things still stuck away that I can't bear to sort out and "get rid"
> of, because they hold a little peice of her still..a memory of when
> she bought something or a flicker of her personality or what she was
> feeling. We will never forget those we love and the grief that is in
> our blood is their part of us, their soul still intwined within. When
> Barbaro, the famous Kentucky Derby winner was euthanized, Gretchen
> Jackson stated"Grief is the price we pay for love" and that holds so
> true for us all. We suffer because we loved so much.I am thinking of
> you and all the others in this group who pour their raw emotions out
> to us...may we remember our loved ones with joy and a smile in our
> hearts because that is how they would want us to think of them.
> (((HUGS))) to you.There is no cure for the ache we feel in our very
> beings, but you are thought of ..Judy, Cindy's Mom
Hi, Judy, and thank you. Sorry I did not respond earlier -- I did not
see your post until Jo replied to you due to some kind of newsfeed
snafu.
Love is either a good thing or it's not. And if it's a good thing to
begin with, then it continues to be the thing to do -- in spite of the
absence of the one we love.
Thank you for your kind thoughts. It helps.
--
Daniel
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