Daniel you always know you have your grief family here and you always will.
Things will get done when you are ready to get them done sweetheart. You
have been such an inspiration to me and I know that your father is proud
of
all the people you have helped through the years in this newsgroup...I can
feel him saying "that's my boy!!!) All my love.
--
Daisy
"Daniel" <deltaechomike@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message
news:4haua4houscud2oud0qb7afbskb9tgtb4m@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> I've been out of touch -- by choice, I guess. After losing Dad in
> September 2005, this time of year rolls around again, and this year I
> am having flashbacks and memories of those last days of caring for him
> at home and then at the hospital.
>
> One of the last days he was at home was the day all those people were
> in the huge traffic jam heading north away from Katrina. I was at the
> house with Dad -- he sat in the family room and looked out the window
> where he could see me outside pulling crabgrass out of the flower
> beds. I remember he took my hand and whispered to me -- "Thanks,
> Daniel, I've been wanting to do that and somehow I just haven't been
> able to." So Dad.
>
> I've got Dad stuff in bags and bins and suitcases and file boxes. I've
> got chairs in the garage that won't fit in my house. I've got one of
> his s****t coats and a ****rt and tie -- had planned on making a
> shadow-box thingie . . . and none of it gets sorted, none of it gets
> done. "Somehow I just haven't been able to."
>
> I've got piles of grief in my blood in my brain in my soul and somehow
> none of it gets sorted, none of it gets done. "Somehow I just haven't
> been able to."
>
> And I think of you all every day, all those who are and have been this
> group. I haven't been able to bring myself to read even. Sorry.
> "Somehow I just haven't been able to."
>
> Somehow. In Dad's case what stopped him from pulling the crabgrass
> was cancer. [irony: crab ( =cancer ) +grass ] In my case it's the
> creeping crabgrass / cancer of grief -- of needing . . . *what*??? If
> I knew I could find it get it do it. I should take time to pay
> attention to the grief thing, time to take the time to deal with the
> piles visible and invisible. Time to deal with the remorse. I'd give
> anything to have had more "thank you's" from Dad, to have the touch of
> his hand one more time.
>
> Peace to you and all those you love,
> --
> Daniel ( deltaechomike@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
)
|
