On Aug 22, 2:22=A0pm, Daniel <deltaechom...@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote:
> I've been out of touch -- by choice, I guess. =A0After losing Dad in
> September 2005, this time of year rolls around again, and this year I
> am having flashbacks and memories of those last days of caring for him
> at home and then at the hospital. =A0
>
> One of the last days he was at home was the day all those people were
> in the huge traffic jam heading north away from Katrina. =A0I was at the
> house with Dad -- he sat in the family room and looked out the window
> where he could see me outside pulling crabgrass out of the flower
> beds. =A0I remember he took my hand and whispered to me -- "Thanks,
> Daniel, I've been wanting to do that and somehow I just haven't been
> able to." =A0So Dad. =A0
>
> I've got Dad stuff in bags and bins and suitcases and file boxes. I've
> got chairs in the garage that won't fit in my house. =A0I've got one of
> his s****t coats and a ****rt and tie -- had planned on making a
> shadow-box thingie . . . and none of it gets sorted, none of it gets
> done. =A0"Somehow I just haven't been able to." =A0
>
> I've got piles of grief in my blood in my brain in my soul and somehow
> none of it gets sorted, none of it gets done. =A0"Somehow I just haven't
> been able to."
>
> And I think of you all every day, all those who are and have been this
> group. =A0I haven't been able to bring myself to read even. =A0Sorry.
> "Somehow I just haven't been able to." =A0
>
> Somehow. =A0In Dad's case what stopped him from pulling the crabgrass
> was cancer. [irony: crab ( =3Dcancer ) +grass ] In my case it's the
> creeping crabgrass / cancer of grief =A0-- of needing . . . *what*??? If
> I knew I could find it get it do it. =A0I should take time to pay
> attention to the grief thing, time to take the time to deal with the
> piles visible and invisible. =A0Time to deal with the remorse. =A0I'd
giv=
e
> anything to have had more "thank you's" from Dad, to have the touch of
> his hand one more time.
>
> Peace to you and all those you love,
> --
> Daniel =A0( deltaechom...@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
)
((((Daniel)))) know I have been missing you here and was hoping you
were okay-
or doing the best you could be doing with what all you are feeling/
going through...
experiencing grief is alot of work-on one's mind and heart and
soul.....I am like many
that do what they can to get by...another day,hour or moment....Jo
|
