On Aug 22, 3:22=A0pm, Daniel <deltaechom...@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote:
> I've been out of touch -- by choice, I guess. =A0After losing Dad in
> September 2005, this time of year rolls around again, and this year I
> am having flashbacks and memories of those last days of caring for him
> at home and then at the hospital. =A0
>
> One of the last days he was at home was the day all those people were
> in the huge traffic jam heading north away from Katrina. =A0I was at the
> house with Dad -- he sat in the family room and looked out the window
> where he could see me outside pulling crabgrass out of the flower
> beds. =A0I remember he took my hand and whispered to me -- "Thanks,
> Daniel, I've been wanting to do that and somehow I just haven't been
> able to." =A0So Dad. =A0
>
> I've got Dad stuff in bags and bins and suitcases and file boxes. I've
> got chairs in the garage that won't fit in my house. =A0I've got one of
> his s****t coats and a ****rt and tie -- had planned on making a
> shadow-box thingie . . . and none of it gets sorted, none of it gets
> done. =A0"Somehow I just haven't been able to." =A0
>
> I've got piles of grief in my blood in my brain in my soul and somehow
> none of it gets sorted, none of it gets done. =A0"Somehow I just haven't
> been able to."
>
> And I think of you all every day, all those who are and have been this
> group. =A0I haven't been able to bring myself to read even. =A0Sorry.
> "Somehow I just haven't been able to." =A0
>
> Somehow. =A0In Dad's case what stopped him from pulling the crabgrass
> was cancer. [irony: crab ( =3Dcancer ) +grass ] In my case it's the
> creeping crabgrass / cancer of grief =A0-- of needing . . . *what*??? If
> I knew I could find it get it do it. =A0I should take time to pay
> attention to the grief thing, time to take the time to deal with the
> piles visible and invisible. =A0Time to deal with the remorse. =A0I'd
giv=
e
> anything to have had more "thank you's" from Dad, to have the touch of
> his hand one more time.
>
> Peace to you and all those you love,
> --
> Daniel =A0( deltaechom...@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
)
Peace and love to you too Daniel. I know so well what you are feeling
because currently I am feeling many of the same emotions. We are in
the process of moving and I have so many of my beloved daughter's
things still stuck away that I can't bear to sort out and "get rid"
of, because they hold a little peice of her still..a memory of when
she bought something or a flicker of her personality or what she was
feeling. We will never forget those we love and the grief that is in
our blood is their part of us, their soul still intwined within. When
Barbaro, the famous Kentucky Derby winner was euthanized, Gretchen
Jackson stated"Grief is the price we pay for love" and that holds so
true for us all. We suffer because we loved so much.I am thinking of
you and all the others in this group who pour their raw emotions out
to us...may we remember our loved ones with joy and a smile in our
hearts because that is how they would want us to think of them.
(((HUGS))) to you.There is no cure for the ache we feel in our very
beings, but you are thought of ..Judy, Cindy's Mom
|
