On Aug 10, 9:00 pm, "Daisy" <sweetdaisy67...@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote:
> I've known nothing but sup****t and compassion from this group I call my
> family. People here understood before the people closest to me did what
I
> was going through. Going through months of depression after the loss of
a
> child IS NORMAL.....sometimes it takes years to even begin to get back
into
> the human rat race again. Just my two cents worth, I don't think anyone
> actually attacked you or your post, they just gave their opinions and of
> course you are entitled to yours too. I've been here for eleven years
now,
> have made alot of understand friends and would direct anyone who is
grieving
> over a loss, regardless of that loss to come here. I hope you decide to
> stay, feelings run rampant sometimes but it's all a part of grieving.
>
> --
> Daisy"nospam-noforwards" <FR...@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message
>
> news:10291-489F83EF-1364@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>
> > This is the first time I've ben back since my last posting and now I
> > realize why...
> > There is always someone who wants to read something into a post that
> > isn't there!!
>
> > I didn't mention WHO I lost because I didn't think "who" mattered as
> > much as that my losses were "someone special to me". I also didn't
want
> > to get into a P'''ing contest but someone just HAD to turn this thread
> > into one. A loss hurts!! DUH!!
>
> > Also, just for your information, I WASN'T criticizing my friend and
her
> > reaction over her loss.... simply that it dredged up some of my own
> > grief from two SIGNIFICANT losses in my life and the pain felt fresh
> > again. I loved my friend's daughter too and she was a loss to me as
> > well, which is part of why it hurt. Is my hurt over my the loss of my
> > friend's daughter as significant as my friend's hurt? Of course
not...
> > and I didn't say it was. But then I wasn't the one trying to COMPARE
> > losses.
>
> > I hope to be able to sup****t my friend but she isn't even
acknowledging
> > her loss OR even talking to anyone so it has NOTHING to do with WHAT
> > anyone SAYS or DOESN'T SAY ... but with the fact that she has closed
> > herself off for MONTHS now and I'm CONCERNED FOR HER as well.
>
> > I KNOW everyone grieves differently.... as I ACKNOWLEDGED with my
> > comment on how people not wanting to talk about one person I lost hurt
> > deeply when I wanted to talk about that person. I had also said, if
you
> > bothered to read it, that if she didn't want to talk about her
daughter,
> > fine.... that would be in her own time. It's the months of closing
off
> > from EVERYONE that is of concern!!!!!!!!! (Sometimes depression and
> > suicidal impulses follow significant losses, especially when the grief
> > gets bottled up inside - so I spose I shouldn't be concerned about a
> > FRIEND who may be spiraling that way?)
>
> > If SOME people hadn't WANTED to rush to judgement and just read what I
> > wrote at face value you could have seen I was just expressing myself
> > about grief... mine and my friends and others'... not in comparison
much
> > less in competition!!!
>
> > This group is titled alt.sup****t.grief .... NOT - my grief is worse
than
> > yours! Guess some people don't want to "sup****t" others who are also
> > hurting, and I don't need to be around such a lot of crap... so I'll
> > just keep my grief to myself. I hope those who rushed to judgement
can
> > find their way down off their thrones cuz you are no help to yourself
OR
> > anyone else with such an attitude.
>
> > I honestly don't feel any need to be back here or to direct anyone but
> > enemies here if this is how you all treat one another. I had hoped
for
> > sup****t for my grief issues.... not all the garbage this place layed
> > out.
NoSpam:
I am a bit lost by this post. I don't believe anyone tried to tell you
that any other person had more grief than you or your friend. I don't
understand the rush to judgement statement on your part and certainly
any of us being on a throne. I really do believe that it was the
intent of each person that posted to talk about your grief. Some of us
have years of experience with understanding grief - never ever saying
anyone's grief is worse than anothers grief. To me in your post, you
didn't seem to understand that isolation and not speaking to anyone
can be a big part of grief. You have every reason to be concerned
about your friend. It is sometimes true that people who have someone
close to them die - do suicide. Sometimes, it may really take them
literally years to emerge into life again. I am very sorry for the
pain you are feeling! I also believe your friend needs you to keep
trying to connect with her. (For her sake). I am very sorry that you
misunderstood every thing that everyone said to you in a way to give
you sup****t and let you know things about grief that possibly you
weren't aware of, in hopes that it would help you to help her. (Also
in helping yourself) Trust me, none of us "wanted" to know so much
about grief. If it irritates you for us to know this information and
to offer what we know to you. I am sorry. None of us wanted to have to
live this experience and to have learned so much about grief. We were
only offering you sup****t and caring about your grief and your
friends. I truly fail to see how it matters who you have lost, the
fact that you lost someone you loved is what counts. Good luck to you.
Love
Josh's Mom
5-25-1978 to 11-25-2005
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