On Aug 8, 7:30=A0am, burto...@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
wrote:
> Hi,im new to this group and wanted to share my feelings with you.I
> lost my wife to melanoma in june 2006 age 35.I have two children
> (boys) 9 years and 4 years old.Even though it`s been 2 years it seems
> like yesterday our boys and i had my darling Katherine swiftly takin
> from us.I miss her so much and there`s not to many days where i don`t
> have a cry and wish she was here to give her a big hug.It was just so
> cruel to see her go from the bubbly woman that loved life to someone
> so sick.She was my best friend and we did everything
> together,fi****ng,camping walking on the beach and the list go`s on.I
> just feel so empty without her by my side and am really struggling
> looking after the kids on my own.I`ll be pretty good for a week or 2
> but then it only takes something to remind me of her or one of the
> boys say something about mummy and then my hole world seems to fall
> apart once again.My family and friends have been very helpfull but
> last week i lost my temper with my dad.He wanted me to go out to a
> friends house with him and i didn`t want to because it was one of my
> bad days.Then i got the "you have got to try to move on" talk.I guess
> what im trying to say is should i be trying harder to move on or maybe
> get some professional help?.Im begining to wonder how long will this
> hurt be so strong.I think what makes it harder for me is trying to do
> so much for the kids where Katherine did all that before and now i
> have to do it all.Thankyou for listening,Paul
I am so sorry about your loss Paul. People, including your dad will
say all kinds of things that will make you angry. They just don't
know any better, or don't think to educate themselves on what NOT to
say to people who are grieving. I think I have heard it all in the
almost 10 years that my son has passed away.
Grief and grieving will take its own time, and it is indeed a roller
coaster.... bad days, and not so bad days. Of course, there will be
all kinds of reminders of the way things used to be... Counselling
would definitely be a good idea Paul. Sometimes it is just too much
for family and friends to listen to us, and their instinct is to try
to make things better by "changing the subject" as a distraction or
like your dad, "get you out" when you don't feel like going out. I
wish you strength for your kids Paul, as Katherine lives on in them,
and her love is with you always.
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