Hi Debbie,
I'm recent to this group, but 2 and 1/2 years out in the grief stuff.
My 21 year old son and 15 year old daughter died in a car wreck in
September 2005. Christina was just short of her 16th birthday. Her
senior prom would have been last weekend. Her best friend came by in
her dress to show us. She'd be graduating in a couple weeks. instead
it's that same empty, sad, helpless feeling that I don't know will
ever go away.
I think we do our best to function but let the grief take us where it
will. We have a different 'normal' then folks who haven't gone down
this path, and frankly it's a terrible normal. Do the best you can,
but don't place expectations on yourself for when it will feel better
or how you should handle it. Trust yourself to feel what you need to
feel and don't apologize for feeling it. I think we can all
rationalize how we are supposed to act and that we should 'get over
it'. But as you said, your heart, like mine, my wife's and I would
guess the rest of the folks reading this, is shattered. We're all
missing big pieces of it that cannot be replaced.
I think what I would like, if you are up to it, is to hear about what
kind of person your daughter was, and what made her special. Maybe
that way, you can share a bit of who she was, with those of us who
never had the privilage to get to know her.
Do understand that we understand and you aren't alone in this.
Dan
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