Dear groupmates,
The 20th of this month would have been my daughter's 16th birthday.
She was killed by a hit and run driver on October 10, 2006 when she
was 14. She and her then 16 year old sister were walking home from
their church youth group. It was the most horrible day of my life.
Though it was 1 1/2 years ago I could recite every moment of that day
as if it had just happened.
Last year we marked her birthday by scattering her ashes in the desert
amongst the wild flowers. We released balloons with notes and
remembered stories about her. It was the right thing to do at the time
and though painful felt good. This year feels different. Both my
daughters looked forward to their 16th birthdays for many years. It is
a truly special birthday and we will miss celebrating with her.
I certainly do not feel like celebrating anything, in fact I would
like to go to sleep and wake up 2 days later having missed the 20th
all together. My older daughter plans to go to church and present a
tribute at the youth service. Though she wants me to attend and I
should go to sup****t her, I just can't do it. I know that I would sit
and weep and be unable to hear anything that was said.
How is it that time p***** and the pain does not seem to lessen?
Though I suppose we function it takes a few notes of a certain song or
the sight of a teenaged girl with long dark hair to begin the flood of
tears. How in the world do I make it through another birthday? I know
I will always be a grieving mother and my head tells me that some days
will be more difficult. My heart doesn't understand and seems
shattered into a million pieces.
Debbie
