Feel free to tell me if I'm going mad. I feel like I could be.
Last October, a friend/ex-girlfriend died. We had a quite intense
emotional
connection when we were seeing each other. However, I had not seen her
for
a couple of years, keeping in touch only by phone. I used to daydream
about
her a lot as the choice to remain apart was hers and not mine. If I were
to
rationalize it I would say that daydreaming was my way of feeling as if
she
were around, maintaining a feeling of being connected.
Now that she is gone, I sometimes wallow in memories but even more than
this
I feel as though I can have a 'conversation' with her in my mind. Still
just like a daydream basically. Because I feel I knew her so well, I can
see her in my minds eye passing comment about whatever is going on. I
'see
her' in my minds eye, standing in the room or sitting next me in the car.
I
don't actually see her in the room with me or anything. I just think about
her almost 24/7 (which I've been told is unhealthy) and it's like she is
'there in my mind'.
It can be comforting sometimes, painful at others but...just how normal
is
it - to be conversing in your head with someone who no longer exists? Do
I
just have an active imagination or do I have a real problem?
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