Hi, first post here. Any advice, interesting reads, on widowed parents
getting together with someone else?
Here's my situation:
I'm a 23 guy, and have a 17 year old brother, and two 8-year old
brothers (twins). My parents had been married for 24 years, but there
was an accident last September, and we lost the 'queen bee' of the
house, our mom (at like 42). One of the twins suffered severe head
trauma, and has needed 24/7 care (and will for at least a few more
months)
To help out, I moved back home to help everyone keep going and also
because I don't think I would have done well living far away by
myself. Also, my dad's parents moved in, primarily so my grandma can
help out with cooking, laundry, etc.
So far its been pretty time consuming, we've gathered around my little
brothers' needs and have hopefully passed the hardest parts. My little
brother is recovering, and things start to get more cheery and light
as time goes by. I don't think we, as a family, have ever been more
united.
There's just one point on which I can't get along. My dad made it
clear from the beginning (like 2 months in) that he is very young
(45), and who knows, maybe he'll find another woman after some time.
At this time, I was simply too upset to give a response, and couldn't
comprehend how something like this could even go through his mind, and
he hadn't brought it up again.
However, he and his parents talk over the breakfast table alot, about
many things. Periodically, this subject will come up. LIke for
example, the teacher home-schooling my brother is a young, attractive
divorced lady no older than 30. Also, one of my uncle's father-in-law
passed away recently, so his mother-in-law is also a widow and also
similar in age and traditions as my father. Sometimes they are just
joking, and sometimes my dad seems serious, and is just giving it
time.
And every single time, I just lock up, and get mad. I think to myself,
how can he think of replacing her? I've looked over some older posts
in this group and elsewhere, and it seems I'm being selfish.
Nonetheless, how do I let my dad know I'm just not ready, and may
never be? I think to myself, if another woman steps in, I'll distance
myself from my dad. No way I'd attend any marriage; and have no idea
what's going to happen to holidays. But at the same time, I moved
precisely to not let my little brothers alone. The thought that they
could get a 'surrogate' mother and somehow forget my mom just angers
and upsets me.
I admit I may be childish, but I myself could also be getting hurt.
Any thoughts?
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