On 18 Jun 2006 07:56:52 -0700, "ang" <different858@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote:
>Hi my name is Ang. I am 36 years old. My mom passed away last May. I
>am struggling again. I would write about how I feel...but it is too
>hard to explain..I feel everything. It is confusing. I feel like my
>emotions are on the outside of my body and that everyone and everything
>can just poke fun at them at will. I cannot protect them, nor control
>it. What can I do to move through this stage? I feel like I am losing
>it. I hate everyone and everything at times...I cry over
>everything...it is way too overwhelming.
Ang, I am sorry about your loss of your mom. It's so hard.
Nothing has prepared you for the unwanted changes you're going
through. I know that nothing they taught me in school is gave me the
tools go deal with losing my mother back in June of 2000. Yes it is
very confusing. The world falls apart, the sup****t of "friends"
falters. And the one I had always be able to count on, the one I had
the most confidence in -- my mom -- was gone.
The feeling of being defenseless and vulnerable heightens our
awareness and pain for every little thing that happens. Your
description of being somehow "inside out" is so accurate!
What you are descibing is unfortunately quite common -- the pain, the
isolation, the feeling of "losing it". By the time I found my way to
this group a month or so after my mother died, I was starting to think
I was the *only one* that ever felt or reacted that way. What I found
here I will tell you: you are not alone. In a way your pain is yours
alone (your unique loss) but in another way we have our losses in
common. You are not alone.
Grief is like a journey you did not ask to go on. No roads, no maps,
no bus schedule. The way through this stage is to chart your own
course through this stage, and I hate to say it but at this point a
lot of the grief work you have to do is things like Hurting, Crying,
becoming Aware of the situation.
Try to be patient with yourself. I have a feeling your mom would have
cut you some slack. The main thing that has to happen today is: get
through today.
Please let us know how you are doing.
Thinking of you,
--
Daniel ( deltaechomike@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
)
--
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