Re: My father in laws suicide

"Eva Lamb" <myboxersamps@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message
news:1173209599.781938.284850@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> My would have been soon father in law commited suicide this past
> September. I have having a really hard time dealing with this. My
> boyfriend and I had been dated about 21/2 years before his death. He
> and his wife had been diagnosed with Hep C. They were both alcoholics
> and had quick drinking cold turkey when they found out last March they
> had the disease. I was so proud of them both! They also had financial
> trouble with the IRS and water probelms with there home. He took his
> life back in September. I guess he could not take any more pain. They
> both were put on interferone for the Hep C. That had a 70% sucide rate
> that I had no clue about till after the fact. I was close to him. I
> had lost my dad 17 years ago in June. So he was like my dad! He tolds
> us he loved us and not to be mad at him in the suicide note. That he
> needed to be layed to rest. We were at home. It was a SUnday night and
> something inside of me did not feel right. Him and I talked that
> Wednesday before and he told me not worry that he would not do
> anything stupid. And he pinky promised me. Needless to say his pinky
> promise did not hold up! We got a phone call from my mother in law and
> she said dad is gone. We immeadiatly drove to there house and there
> was a Sherrif there and he said he is gone. We took my mother in law
> down to the fire department to meet the rest of the family. We told
> them and started making fuenral arrangments. We all stayed with my
> soon to be brother in law and his wife for about a week. We all packed
> in there house. On several occasions I went back to there house cause
> I felt like he was still there. He shot himself in the mouth on there
> back deck. My mother in law was in bed sleeping with bad deppression.
> Her dog woke her up barking I quess at the sound of the shotgun going
> off. On my trip back to there house by myself there was still his
> blood and skin and his hankerchief and the robe he was covered up in
> after the fact. I picked up the belongings and threw them away. I knew
> I had to get this cleaned up before we took Ma back there. A family
> friend went and pressured washed the deck for us. Now all you see is
> from the pressure washer on the stairs of the deck. Ma is not dealing
> with any of this in a good way. All she does is cry and I have no idea
> how to help her. As for my boyfriend he proposed to me Christmas
> morning and we were going to get married this June. But that has been
> posponed. I want to get through th first year of dad's death first. My
> fiance is not dealing with this either. Everytime I try to talk about
> it he shuts me down and we don't talk about it. He says he does not
> want to talk about it. Which that is hurting our relation****p. He is
> extremely protective of his mom right now. I am having a really hard
> time dealing with this all. One day at a time is all I can do. I just
> wanted someone to hear my pain so thats why I came here. I am
> struggling more then he realizes. I wish someone could understand me.
> He was my dad too! Thanks for listening!
>


I feel your grief.  Hang in there.  That too shall pass.


Andrzej