My would have been soon father in law commited suicide this past
September. I have having a really hard time dealing with this. My
boyfriend and I had been dated about 21/2 years before his death. He
and his wife had been diagnosed with Hep C. They were both alcoholics
and had quick drinking cold turkey when they found out last March they
had the disease. I was so proud of them both! They also had financial
trouble with the IRS and water probelms with there home. He took his
life back in September. I guess he could not take any more pain. They
both were put on interferone for the Hep C. That had a 70% sucide rate
that I had no clue about till after the fact. I was close to him. I
had lost my dad 17 years ago in June. So he was like my dad! He tolds
us he loved us and not to be mad at him in the suicide note. That he
needed to be layed to rest. We were at home. It was a SUnday night and
something inside of me did not feel right. Him and I talked that
Wednesday before and he told me not worry that he would not do
anything stupid. And he pinky promised me. Needless to say his pinky
promise did not hold up! We got a phone call from my mother in law and
she said dad is gone. We immeadiatly drove to there house and there
was a Sherrif there and he said he is gone. We took my mother in law
down to the fire department to meet the rest of the family. We told
them and started making fuenral arrangments. We all stayed with my
soon to be brother in law and his wife for about a week. We all packed
in there house. On several occasions I went back to there house cause
I felt like he was still there. He shot himself in the mouth on there
back deck. My mother in law was in bed sleeping with bad deppression.
Her dog woke her up barking I quess at the sound of the shotgun going
off. On my trip back to there house by myself there was still his
blood and skin and his hankerchief and the robe he was covered up in
after the fact. I picked up the belongings and threw them away. I knew
I had to get this cleaned up before we took Ma back there. A family
friend went and pressured washed the deck for us. Now all you see is
from the pressure washer on the stairs of the deck. Ma is not dealing
with any of this in a good way. All she does is cry and I have no idea
how to help her. As for my boyfriend he proposed to me Christmas
morning and we were going to get married this June. But that has been
posponed. I want to get through th first year of dad's death first. My
fiance is not dealing with this either. Everytime I try to talk about
it he shuts me down and we don't talk about it. He says he does not
want to talk about it. Which that is hurting our relation****p. He is
extremely protective of his mom right now. I am having a really hard
time dealing with this all. One day at a time is all I can do. I just
wanted someone to hear my pain so thats why I came here. I am
struggling more then he realizes. I wish someone could understand me.
He was my dad too! Thanks for listening!
