today i had a moment of just rage. i was on my way to work and missed
a bus and it was not all that significant. i burst out, on the street,
into screaming (I don't think anyone really heard - didn't see folks
near) - the violence of the rage surprised me. it was young and
helpless and angry and just *rage*. and then i felt so guilty. like a
replay of the childhood tantrums and then seeing mom standing in the
doorway. uh-oh.
i'm glad i'm seeing therapist tomorrow. maybe the fact that she helped
unlock some rage could lead to some meaningful connection/
conversation. I hope we're opening up with her again. we could really
use that safe place to talk and struggle.
for real.
not just the professional smoothly relaying the facts without any
emotion. that doesn't help much, even if the information is helpful.
