Top Ten Reasons to Elect McPain
Americans have been prisoners of war over five years. It’s time to elect
a president with solid POW experience.
American geriatrics will swell with pride on inauguration day and then
take a handful of diuretics so they can put on their shoes and go dancing.
Cindy’s trust fund can help balance the budget deficit.
The nation’s homeless can be moved to the thousands of new offshore
drilling platforms where they can pee with impunity.
Videos of McCain’s notorious temper tantrums will prove effective at
curing hiccups and frightening children.
McCain’s speeches will provide insomniacs with a drug-free alternative.
The question: “How can so pale a guy survive in the Arizona sun?” will
lead to the discovery of a sun block with a 500 + SPF.
No worries about young interns with Chief Exec Crushes.
No Oval Office mid-life crisis--he's way beyond that.
Finally, the First Lady may get some intern attention.
