OT: Humor

Obligatory crohns content - I suppose I could talk about my visit to the 
surgeon this Tuesday (about an old ostomy scar that is getting sharp
pains) 
that she cut into or my current bout of C-diff but I prefer humor instead.

Paul P.


-- I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

-- Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a

rest.

-- Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off?  He's all

right now.

-- To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

-- The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at 
large.

-- A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

-- When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.

-- The math professor went crazy with the blackboard.  He did a number on 
it.

-- The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky 
ground.

-- The dead batteries were given out free of charge.

-- The dentist and manicurist fought tooth and nail.

-- A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.

-- A will is a dead giveaway.

-- A backward poet writes inverse.

-- A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.

-- With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

-- A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, resulting in linoleum 
blownapart.

-- He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.

-- A calendar's days are numbered.

-- A boiled egg is hard to beat.

-- If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.

-- When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.

-- Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis

-- Acupuncture: a jab well done.