I went 43 days without weed...43 days. Three nights ago, I decided I'd try
it & see if I can just do it socially. That was my test to myself...I
failed. I went through a program & completed it, then I started smoking
up
again. How stupid was that? I thought I was stronger than that. I don't
want to keep using, but I like the feeling I get when I'm high. It's like
there's nothing out there that can ever bring me down....that is, until
the
high wears off & I'm back where I started. Depressed, lonely, afraid &
questioning the intentions of everyone around me.
Does anyone else feel this way or is there anyone out there that I can
talk
to about this? I'm seeing a counsellor, one for mental & a rehab
counsellor
through addictions in my area. The only thing is, I don't think I can see
this rehab counsellor since I relapsed...so I'm back to going into group
sessions & NA meetings. I have gone to any NA meetings, but I've done
plenty of group sessions. I'm planning on going to a meeting tomorrow
night, my first one...wish me luck! :)
~Pierced Chick~
|
