Anyone know? Have any ideas?
kelliweathers@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
wrote:
> Hello everyone! I have a question I find tricky. I had an 11-month
> old boy in my care. He constantly screamed & cried to be held. He even
> did this when I was clearly visible, took a one inch step away, or even
> when I looked away from him. He wouldn't even allow me to talk on the
> phone. I had 2 potential clients lost B/C of this.
>
> His mother said it was due to an "illness." Everday it was, "oh,
> he's teething, he has an ear infection." Anything but "he screams &
> tries to climb/claw his way up my leg when I'm in the kitchen too." It
> was something everyday.
>
> Keep in mind, this is the same mom who said in her interview- "He
> never cries & we've never had any behavior/disipline problems w/ him, &
> he never gets sick, oh and don't worry, I would never bring him over if
> he is sick though, I don't want to get your little boy sick." (My son
> was 5-6 months old at the time.) Also, something I've learned very
> early on in this career, never accept a client whose "mother",
> "grandmother", or any other relative, friend calls for her/him for your
> services; especially when this person calling is also the present
> provider. Almost always, the mother doesn't really want your services.
> Why should she, when mom or grandma is doing it for free, plus putting
> up w/ all the early drop-offs, late pick-ups? The mom/grandma is
> calling you B/C their daughter/son won't, & they are getting too old,
> or grandpa's health is failing & they have numerous MD appointment's to
> make & they just can't handle watching their grandkids/grandemons(in
> some cases:) anymore. I have had this happen twice to me from
> experience, plus several other calls from these grandparents I feel
> sorry for, but would not even interview them past that fact, B/c I had
> been there, done that & it was not good. Sorry, I got off the subject a
> bit, but wanted to make those of you unaware aware! Point being, this
> was the case w/ this mom. P.S- The grandmother sat in the interview the
> whole time quiet as a mouse & I wondered why when she had been so
> talkative over the phone.
>
> We had agreed on the drop-off time of 6:30, which was more than
> enough time to make it to her 3 minute away job. No, she dropped off
> between 6:10 & 6:20. To some people this seems like so what, a tad
> early. No, to me it means- daughter misses bus! It was also agreed upon
> that there would be no charging, I was to be paid before the service
> was rendered. I was already so flex w/ her. I told her I didn't care if
> she paid weekly, daily, whatever, as long as it was paid upfront. She
> started charging on the second day! She also would bail on me at times,
> saying her husband was keeping him tomorrow so I would'nt be needed, or
> grandma wants to spend some time with him so I would only need to have
> him for a half-day. Of course, I was only paid a half-day too.
> Sometimes it would shock me if I called her for something, I could
> actually hear her let out a sigh of aggravation as I was telling her
> something about her child. Not aggravated w/ her child, w/ me for
> taking up her time, she didn't seem to care. She also got very upset
> that I lock my doors during the day. The parent comes & knocks, I go
> immediantly go let them in. It's not like she gave me those "surprise"
> visits, this would be her exact pick-up time. As soon as I heard her
> pull up, I would go to unlock the door, but if it took me a few extra
> seconds, she would beat on the door furiously.
>
> I ended up terminating care immediantly w/out notice. Not only was
> she not paying me, I saw her as an extreme danger. I also caught her in
> lies red-handed numerous times. The last straw was when she had charged
> the day before, then came to pick him up, had no intention of even
> mentioning payment today until I said something, she informed me that
> tomorrow- "I will be an hour late cause we have a meeting & I have to
> go get my check cashed & do some stuff, oh yeah & then I'll pay you."
> Keep in mind the day she was going to be let was the day before my
> birthday/first anniversary week-end, so I had to go & pick up my check
> from another job I have 4 days a month. I did not keep him after that,
> nor did I get paid. She left a lot of his things, including his $75
> highchair which she still will not pick up. I also questioned my
> sanity. I was\ letting her bring her sick child into care. IMHO, he had
> no business in my business if he was "sick." She was always wanting me
> to give him Tylenol. I got scared after a situation where I called to
> get her off work to come pick him up b/c he was stark raving mad. When
> she arrived, she immediantly picked him up, he ceased crying, hit his
> mom in the face & laughs. His mom however just goes, "oh , I see that
> Tylenol just kicked in." I proceded to tell her i had had to give him
> Tylenlol twice in 4 hour intervals.(I had to give it to him right when
> he arrived on her request.) Anyway, after telling her that, she looked
> away & when I looked back at her, she had this look on her face like- I
> could just kill someone or hurt someone bad right now, but when she
> noticed I was looking at her- she stopped & put on a fake look & said
> really sugary "So, you gave him Tylenol when & when? It just seemed
> odd. Also, whenever I had to call her home phone(which she said she
> didn't have a home phone, but duh, she called me from it one night) I
> never heard the baby cry, whimper but I always heard their "buzzed"
> company, if you know what I mean. And I can't even pee when he's w/ me!
>
> I even kept this child every other week-end & only charged her $12 a
> day! What an idiot! Her and me! But atleast I'm not a bad parent or as
> bad a person she is, so that makes me feel a whole lot better about
> being "too soft hearted." They will only break that softness, not
> embrace it & be thankful. I'm just glad I'm not that kind of person.
> The child did I believe have some kind of an ear infection but that
> wasn't all there was too it, After all, he never came into the daycare
> w/ any antibiotics. She also admitted to me that everytime she got a
> phone call at work, she would get scared that it was me, calling to say
> come & get S*** B/C he just attacked, hit, bit my baby! All this after
> insisting to me he was an angel. She also told me in our initial
> interview I was his first caretaker, then at termination time, she let
> something slip about a friend of hers wouldn't babysit him B/C of
> something he did & that "Grandma can't cook supper w/out S***
> climbing/clawing up her legs. All these blatant lies! I
>
>
> I was just so scared that something was going to medically
> happen to him while in my care. Especially after the time she acted
> oddly about the tylenol amount, the next day at pick-up, she said that
> 1 time she rushed him to the E.R B/C he was unresponsive, wouldn't
> talk, respond or move, just very lethargic. She said that the doc's
> just told her that it was "nothing" to worry about & was probably due
> to his "ear prolem", (constant infections.) See, he had had a similar
> episode w/ me a day or two earlier where he just seemed lethargic, when
> I am so used to seeing him act-up and screaming.
>
> The child never objected to coming to mr from his mothers arms,
> even on the first day. Nor, did the child mind going back to his mother
> at the end of the day. I mentioned earlier about how he was so
> attention starved, crying when I took a step away, etc. He also did
> this w/ my husband, my 7-year old daughter, anyone who got near him. He
> also called me "mama" and my husband "dada". At almost 1, he could
> walk, I saw him do it on the day of the interview. After that, He would
> not walk again, the only time he would crawl would be when I was a few
> feet away & refused to go pick him up, then he would crawl to climb up
> my legs. They also told me he was on a sippee cup. Yeah, they sent one
> but I got tired of having to hold the cup for him and tilt his head
> back so he would drink. For a bottle, I would have to feed him like an
> infant. He would not dare hold his own. I knew he could though. He
> found it very amusing to hit. He looked at any other small kids in my
> care w/ such anger/hate in his eyes. His mom claims they don't hold him
> at all at home.
>
> My question is, do you think this child was a victim of
> abuse/neglect or just spoiled and held all the time? It's really eating
> at me. Do you think I was wrong for not giving notice? You all are so
> appreciated. You've made me not give up! Thanks!
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